frum college girl

2011-12-17T23:44:00.001-05:00

I think the end has come for my blog.

Besides for the obvious reason-I don't blog anymore-if I did continue blogging I'd probably have to change my name from FCG to FGG.

I'm finally graduating :)

It's been a long road and I've come a long way from my first day when I didn't even know the difference between sodium chloride and normal saline. Along the way I've learned about more diseases than I knew my brain could hold, given dozens of injections, administered medications, inserted foleys, cleaned gangrenous diabetic foot wounds, watched a c-section, a PICC line insertion, a cardiac catheterization, and laparoscopic cystectomy, did a shift in the NICU, the ER, OR, cardiac unit, pediatrics floor. I've spent countless hours reading, studying, written papers and essays on everything from nursing management to cultural awareness. I've ingested a lifetime's supply of caffeine, made a dozen friendships along the way, and now it's finally drawing to a close.

Of course I'll be going on to take the NCLEX exam and then go for my BSN and then hopefully a masters, but for now I've come to the end of an era. For those of you who have stuck by my side with your endless support,I thank you, and know that I would not have made it without your encouraging words. I look forward to the next stage in my career.

FCG

2011-08-10T13:29:00.001-04:00

While every summer there are kids who come very often, there's always that one kid who manages to come up with the stupidest excuses. This summer that kid is a boy going into sixth grade. He once got a bee sting on his lip which blew up so now he thinks he may be allergic to bee stings. So every time he thinks he may have gotten stung he comes rushing into the office so we can tell him that he's fine. The latest was when he was convinced he'd gotten stung on the back of his neck when it was just his tag rubbing against his neck. But the latest incident takes the cake. There was a bubble machine in camp one day last week. It was a big inflated pool that had a machine blowing large quantities if bubbles out for the kids to jump in. In the middle of this activity the boy came in

"My friend pushed me down and forced me to swallow two bubbles and I saw on the side if the pool it says that you shouldn't eat the stuff and if you do you should seek medical attention immediately so I'm here"

We gave him a cup of water and sent him back.

2011-07-25T16:43:00.000-04:00

Little kids have a habit of volunteering way too much information. Not in a gross-I-didn't-need-to-know-that-kind of way, but in a way that makes you want to interrupt their story to tell them to get to the point already.

A seven year old was brought to the infirmary with a sting. In order to make sure the kid wasn't reacting to the sting, I asked him to tell me how he got the sting. "so I s standing in the pool area next to Pool One. No actually it was Pool Two. I was really closer to Pool One but I was walking to Pool Two to go swimming. Not the really shallow pool. That's Pool Three. And i was facing the green tent. I was looking at the purple sign hanging up....."

So cute.

Sometimes it's less than cute.

There's a junior counselor who talks like that too. When he brought a camper in who'd hurt his shoulder it took a full two minutes for him to get to the part about the shoulder. "he had the ball and he was trying to dunk so he jumped up with his arms outstretched like this, (at this point the jc demonstrated for me) and when he came down his foot was like this, (another demonstration) and then he landed on his shoulder"

A simple "he fell on his shoulder" would have sufficed

Then there was the camper who simply did not stop talking. To be honest, I'm not sure why he was even brought in in the first place. He was complaining that it had been very hot in his apartment that morning. But the boys' bunkhouses are air-conditioned. In any event,he sat here for a bit to cool off and then waited for his counselor to come pick him up. Since it was the beginning of the day it took awhile for the division head to send someone to come collect him. So he sat for fifteen minutes talking non-stop. About absolutely everything and nothing at all. About his breakfast that morning and the air conditioner in his apartment and his recent wii score and I'm not sure what else because I sort of tuned him out at that point. Thankfully he left before he drove us all mad.

Sent from my iPad

2011-07-19T07:11:00.000-04:00

Working in a nurse's office means hoping for a boring summer. We're the only part of the camp that hopes that we sit around all day with nothing to do.

Today was definitely not that kind of day.

One of the camp buses had a little fender-bender on its way to camp this morning. Thankfully everyone was OK, but as per the camp's policy we had to check all the kids to make sure there weren't any problems. So the entire group piled into the little nurse's office. It had been a mini bus and a few kids were not coming to camp so there were only about thirteen kids and three staff members. We gave them each a mini checkup and handed out bags of chips and powerade to the kids to keep them quiet while the nurse called their parents. It's kind of difficult to keep thirteen kids (mostly boys) quiet when they're hyped up about "getting into an accident" of course The Nit Lady was here too, huddled over the phone and glaring at the kids. Add that to a camper who split his finger open on a metal gate, and a pair of siblings with matching nosebleeds, and it was total chaos. With the help of two counselors and a division head who can whistle REALLY loudly we managed to call all the parents, staunch the flowing of blood, and bandage up the bleeding finger so he could get into his moms car to go to the doctor without staining her seats.

And that was only in the first hour of camp. The office door has been revolving non-stop all day. But thankfully nothing too serious.

Nothing some powerade, a handful of pretzels and some TLC can't fix

2011-07-17T22:55:00.000-04:00

I have to issue a warning that this post is not for those readers who are squeamish or faint-hearted (*cough* FBB)

There's a woman who works in the camp. Well I'm sure she has a name but in camp she's referred to as The Nit Lady. She checks the heads of all campers entering camp. Almost every week she finds a "case" as she likes to call them. When that happens she brings the child to the nurse's office and plunks them down in the back of the office. I wish she would give them something to cover their heads. The children are often young and don't understand that if they actually have lice, they can jump from one head to another. Call me irrational but I'm terrified of getting lice or nits. She then proceeds to tie up the phone line for twenty minutes while she chats with the parent and explains the while life and birth cycle of her little friends. She even pulls them out and tapes them to a piece of paper to send them home with the camper. I'm not kidding. It's almost like she actually likes these pests. When we see her trudging up the hill with a camper in tow we send a message to the main office that we need to take any incoming calls at the main office because she's going to be on the phone for awhile.

Shudder.

2011-07-15T06:19:00.000-04:00

Blogging regularly was on my list of things to do this summer. Unfortunately our laptop screen is currently out of commission because mr. Fcg stepped on it. Which is a story in of itself. I was searching for an app that would allow me to blog from my iPad. Thanks to blobby I found one.

So I'm back in the same day camp I worked at last summer. A lot of the staff are back as well. It was funny to see the counselors and jc's, some have gotten taller, some lost weight, some put on weight. When the campers need over the counter medication we need to get a prescription from the physician. When a staff needs medication, like Tylenol or Advil we need to obtain parental consent if they are under sixteen. The girls' staff members usually whip out their cellphones and call they're moms who are more than happy to give them permission to take the medication. Anything to prevent their daughters from coming home grumpy. But when the boys' staff comes in for advil and I tell them I need to talk to their moms, all of a sudden they don't have such a bad headache. I feel like telling them not to be so macho and just call their moms. But I guess to a fifteen-year-old boy the worst thing is admitting you still need Mommy. One of the many differences between guys and girls.

2011-05-19T01:15:00.002-04:00

being a mother means learning the true meaning of sleep deprivation

being a mother means making no plans for the mornings because i never know how the nights are going to go

being a mother means I've traded in my purse for a diaper bag

being a mother means getting used to the smell of spit up on my clothes

being a mother means planning my day in two and a half hour increments

being a mother means learning how to multitask, and do things with a baby over my shoulder

being a mother means falling hopelessly in love with a twenty inch, nine pound boy

being a mother is exhausting, frustrating, demanding, thrilling, exhilarating, and I'm loving every second of it

2011-05-01T09:43:00.002-04:00

i always loved words. they helped me daydream, express my feelings, and communicate with others.

but there are no words to describe the feeling i had when i held my son for the first time yesterday :)

2011-04-24T09:08:00.002-04:00

i sort of assumed pesach at my in laws wouldn't be that different than succos at their house. but that was before we decided to go for the first days.

of all the Jewish holidays, pesach is the biggest when it comes to family traditions. and my family is full of them. from the tunes, to the songs, to the food, and just about everything in between, i always knew my family did it differently. my mother makes food from scratch, like mayonnaise, strawberry jam, orange juice, chocolate syrup, tomato sauce...it might taste a little different, but once you get used to it, it's very earthy and wholesome. the seder might go until 2 am because my family has songs for everything, and there are some divrei torah that are said every year, even though we all know them by heart already.

on the flip side, my mother in law buys pesach processed things, so there was ketchup and soda, potato chips taffies. and my father in law is a rabbi so he has to "work" the day after the seder, so the seder is slightly shorter (by about two hours) the tunes they sing are different, and even the way my husband's family reads the haggada is different from what i was used to.

i missed my mother's traditional chocolate mousse and cucumber salad, but my mother in law has her dishes that she makes every pesach that my husband and his siblings look forward to.

it wasn't difficult to be with my "other family", it was just different. and I'm looking forward to spending the second half of yom tov with my side.

2011-03-10T10:00:00.000-05:00

people love to complain about change.

Facebook obviously has a lot of issues because they're changing the layout every five months, and they sneak in subtle changes in between. for the first two weeks after the changes have been made, everyone groans and talks about how they want the "old layout back" but they fail to remember that they complained just as much when the old layout was the new one.

so i usually wait to get accustomed to changes before I'm so quick to complain. that's why I've waited since the summer to comment on the changes in the Starbucks i often frequent. they changed the whole look of the place, down to the tables and chairs. there is now a three foot table which is great for accommodating large books plus a laptop and notes. but the chairs are really, REALLY uncomfortable. they're rounded wooden chairs with a little lip around the edge which makes it uncomfortable to sit for more than ten minutes. there used to be two big green poufy chairs at the window, which were almost never unoccupied. they got rid of those chairs too, and now there are four brown leather chairs, which aren't nearly as comfortable. at least they've made the music a little quieter. some of the other changes are more subtle; they now keep the sleeves at the counter and you can opt not to take one, the counter with the sugar, straws, milk, and napkins are closer to the door (which makes sense)

i say bring the old chairs back. and get rid of the new barristas. they make a racket, and are always laughing hysterically, at a decibel level which is too loud to be polite for public. and it's not because I'm getting old. it's because they're loud.

2011-03-09T10:15:00.002-05:00

as a little kid i loved getting the mail. there's a satisfaction in opening the mailbox to see it stuffed with envelopes. and on occasion there was actually an envelope with my name on it.

these days, getting the mail is a lot less exciting. we don't get that much mail-we pay our bills and do banking online. most of our mail is the rent stub or a wedding invitation, and the monthly magazines that we get. but yesterday i got an envelope with my name on it that i was not excited to see at all.

it was from the Jury Department. i know, it's all part of being an adult and good citizen, bla bla bla. to me it means yet another hassle to deal with. at least I'm not missing work, and i don't have kids so i don't need to find arrangements for that. but it also means that i don't really have a plausible excuse for missing it. it's in the beginning of April, so i can't use pesach as an excuse, and it's on a Monday so i might not even be able to use school to get out of it. it's probably worth it to do it now and then not have to worry about it for awhile.

still, I'm not looking forward to it.

2011-03-07T20:02:00.002-05:00

life is a series of ups and downs. sometimes bad things happen that set you back, and leave you stunned for a bit, and sometimes good things happen that leave you with a good feeling for a bit. recently we've had a high point in my family, which left many of our family members with the good feeling.

my siblings and i made a surprise party for my parent's anniversary.

they had a milestone this year, and as their children, we felt it appropriate to celebrate with more than just the usual card/gift. my mother is not really one for surprises, but my dad loves them. and what better way to show the two people in your life that have done the most for you than by throwing them a party?

we started planning months ago, from the food to the decorations. we split up the chores and the phone calls, and got to work. brother1 is away in school, sister2 has a busy senior year schedule, and brother2 is at school till late at night, but they all pitched in with their opinions and help whenever possible.

we were sure my parents (especially my mother) suspected something was up when brother1 called my mom on Thursday to tell her he was coming home for shabbos because he "needed a break", or when i called to invite them for melava malka, but my mother's face when she walked in the door proved that we had successfully pulled off the party.

the aunts and uncles and grandparents helped with the food preparation, and my siblings decorated my apartment with lots of signs and appropriate colors for the milestone. Mr. FCG did his part by shlepping soda and chairs up the stairs and taking the decorations off the ceiling the next morning. who needs a step stool when your husband is over 6 feet tall?

the food was great, nobody spilled on the couch, the speech was nice, and my parents loved the party. the Far Away Aunt and Uncle got to join in the celebration with the help of Skype, and we all went to bed exhausted but happy.

happy anniversary! we hope to celebrate many more with you!

2011-02-03T10:45:00.002-05:00

there are two kinds of snow days

the kind i had last week was the productive kind. i was up relatively early, and since i had a lot of time and not that much to do (beginning of the semester is usually pretty quiet) i cleaned the entire apartment from top to bottom; swept, dusted, mopped, vacuumed, washed anything that wasn't sparkling, refolded the linen, cleaned out the fridge, and rearranged the cabinets. at the end of the day i felt very accomplished, but could not move. i literally collapsed on the couch.

this week i had another snow day. i stayed in bed till much later and didn't do much besides for some laundry. sister2 came over and we baked-or more accurately, i baked and she sat and chatted with me while i measured and poured. unfortunately the cookies came out nasty and I'd used up some of my baking supplies so i couldn't try another recipe. we ate and made smoothies and looked at stupid videos on YouTube. at the end of the day i was also exhausted (doing nothing is very tiring!) but instead of a clean apartment i had counters full of dirty dishes and laundry that needed to be folded lying on my bed. definitely not the most productive of days.

but now that I've had both, I'm ready to be finished with snow days for the rest of the semester. as is everyone else in New York. all anyone's been tweeting, blogging, or facebooking about has been the snow. and football. and foot fetishes. thankfully that's going to be over after Sunday.

2011-01-09T12:01:00.003-05:00

there's a total art to packing. the trick is to start at a timely manner so you're not running around last minute trying to shove everything into a suitcase all willy nilly. but if you start too early then you can't pack half of your stuff because it's either yet to be cleaned or used. i usually start making a list mentally about a week in advance, and then sit down to actually write it about three days later. since our flight is tomorrow night, i started taking out the stuff i needed already on Friday when i packed to go away for shabbos, but that was really so i felt like i was getting ready. this morning i went over my list one last time and then took everything out and packed it all. and it looks like i won't even need to sit on my suitcase to close it. then again, i haven't yet packed all the things I'm taking for other people, like the four pounds of jelly beans for my brother in law, or the Utz potato chips for my friend's brother in yeshiva. it looks like Mr. FCG might actually be packing more than me :)

so I've cleaned out my fridge, made sure i don't have anything due at the library, checked my passport, gotten instructions from my grandparents (we're staying at their apartment) and brushed up on my Hebrew. and we're off to Israel! going as a married person will probably be a wholly different experience than going as a seminary girl or on a family vacation with my siblings

why i love facebook

2011-01-05T09:33:00.002-05:00

there comes a time when you have to grow up and step out from under your parents wings. I'm not talking about getting married and moving out. that i mastered pretty well. I'm talking about paying your own phone bill.

like most families, we had a family plan from Verizon, so it paid for me to stay on my parents plan, because it was cheaper than any single line plan i could find. but when sister2 needed a phone, someone had to get booted off the plan. so i was left to searching for a phone plan that would give me what i wanted without being too expensive.

i looked at Verizon, Spring, AT&T, Boost Mobile, Orange, and virtually every other phone company I'd heard of. but the plans were either very limited, way too expensive, or didn't have good service where i live.

so i networked. i updated my Facebook status to express my desire to join someone else's family plan. within ten minutes my friend commented on my status that she had an extra line that wasn't being used and was more than happy to add me to her plan. that was Sunday night. by Monday evening i was on a new plan, and sister2 could start shopping for a new phone.

even if I'd emailed everyone i knew, i don't think i would have gotten such quick results.

of course the three and a half hours i spent on the phone with a very inept woman named Julie who kept hanging up on me and didn't understand what i was trying to tell her is another story...

2010-10-10T16:03:00.002-04:00

there's a certain comfort in routine.

as Succot was drawing to a close, everyone was lamenting the end of the holidays and the forced return to "normal life"

i think i was the only one who was looking forward to it.

not that i didn't enjoy the family, food, more family and more food. it's hard to get adjusted to a school regimen when every three days I'm missing class. so now I've gotten my schedule all worked out. I've figured out exactly how much time i need in the morning so that i can sleep until the very last second and still have time to grab something to eat before i run off to the hospital. I'm managing to balance preparing in the morning before i leave for class so that i have everything i need to make dinner when i get home in the evening. and I've discovered that if i do laundry on Sundays, I've got the whole afternoon to do it so I'm less rushed and there's less of a chance that I'll lose a sock or turn an undershirt gray. (and if i do it on Sunday, Mr. FCG folds it :) )

2010-08-22T07:58:00.002-04:00

the last day of camp is always somewhat surreal to me. everyone walks around in a slight daze, mumbling, "i can't believe the summer is ending" we had started packing everything up in the nurse's office already at the beginning of the week, but Friday was when it all really got packed up. the by midday the room had the empty look of summer's end. the walls that had been covered with the kids drawings were totally bare. the refrigerator that was previously stocked with Gatorade and ice packs was emptied out and unplugged. the water cooler and pretzel barrel were cleaned out and put away for storage, leaving two large rings on the counter. the door of the medicine cabinet banged against the empty shelves, clanging loudly. reminding me that my summer vacation is quickly drawing to a close.

i said goodbye and pulled out of the camp for the last time, reflecting on what I'd learned over the past eight weeks, still not believing that I'm going back to school in a week.

time to pull out my drug cards and go reserve my spot in Starbucks.

2010-08-04T10:51:00.002-04:00

i'm resurfacing!

yes i know, it's been like three months since my last blog post, my apologies for that (i found couches by the way. yummy microfiber couches from Bob's Discount Furniture, and i love them)

so a lot has happened since April. i passed my finals, finished furnishing my apartment, got married, made it through sheva brachos, started cooking dinners and doing laundry, got a summer job working in a nurse's office in a local day camp, and celebrated my seven-week anniversary.

whew!

married life is great, blah blah blah, nobody's really interested in hearing about my philosophy, especially since a great chunk of my readers have been married like 18-20 times longer than i have.

now that it's already august (where did the summer go?) I've started working on my schoolwork. this semester i'm doing labor and delivery, oncology, immunology, and respiratory. i know i'm going to have a full plate, but i do plan on blogging every now and then.

2010-04-30T10:53:00.003-04:00

shopping for a couch is not as easy as i thought it would be.

i never realized how many different couches are out there. reclining or non-reclining, leather or microfiber, different sizes and shapes, firmer cushions or softer cushions. and I'm not even going to mention the different colors.

the first stop was Ikea, probably the funnest furniture store, but not the best place to look for a couch. i know the store has like Swedish roots or something. aren't Scandinavian people supposed to be tall? because all the couches were very short and compact. i think it's designed for little squishy apartments. and not so much for comfort.

so off i went to Raymour and Flanigan. once i managed to dodge an overly friendly saleswoman, i was free to roam around and flop down on couch after couch. we happened to be in the store on the day of an extended sale, but the prices weren't that exciting.

and another thing i forgot to calculate-Mr. FCG (for those of you who didn't like the moniker, you should know that he has no problem with it) is a good 10 inches taller than me. so i need to find a couch that will be comfortable for him as well. so we grabbed a relatively tall frum guy and asked him to try out the couches. and we did the same thing yesterday to a poor unsuspecting 17 year old boy in a small sidewalk furniture store.

but i may have found something. slowly but surely, I'm getting there. last final is in a week and a half. then i can focus more on wedding plans and less on renal failure.

summer vacation, here i come!

2010-04-15T20:22:00.003-04:00

as part of my psychiatric nursing clinical experience, my class conducted a screening in the college for anxiety disorders. we set up in a large room in the student union, and put up signs for free pizza. that's the only way to attract the attention of the college students.

we had the participants fill out a questionnaire about stress levels and anxiety. then based on that we discussed the possibility of anxiety disorders, stress management skills, and if needed, introduced them to student counselor on campus, so they could make an appointment to speak with her. once they finished talking we gave them a ticket which was redeemable for a free slice of pizza. the counselor running the screening explained that she knows a lot of the students only come for the free pizza, but it's worth it if she gets at least five or ten students to talk about their anxiety.

i think some of the students thought they couldn't get the pizza if they didn't have anxiety issues. so they made some things up. which made it very hard to keep a straight face when talking to them:

me: so you checked off that sometimes you have spells or attacks when you get anxious or frightened?

student: yea. sometimes, I'll wake up in the middle of the night, and then i can't fall back asleep for a little bit

me: is there something that causes these attacks?

student: well if i think about something bad that happened to me, it makes me have trouble sleeping

me: did something happen to you?

student: ummm....well my friend was sick, like last year

me: and is she OK now?

student: oh yea she's fine...

(at this point the conversation kind of deteriorated, so i gave her the ticket for pizza)

or take another conversation that my classmate Stephanie had with a student:

student: sometimes i get really anxious, and then my heart starts beating fast and i sweat a lot

Stephanie: what happens to cause these attacks?

student: like when i see mice

Stephanie: well i think everyone gets a little anxious when they see mice

I'm not making fun of people with anxiety disorders. it just amazed at how stupid some of the stories seemed.

2010-04-15T13:55:00.000-04:00

This post is dedicated to all bookkeepers and accountants who have spent the last few weeks working tirelessly (maybe some have been a little tired) over the past few weeks to feverishly meet the tax deadline. This morning when sister1 got into the car, I realized that I had not seen her in three days-and we live in the same house! It was nice to get reacquainted with her for a bit. And I know that everyone who knows someone who’s an accountant is looking forward to seeing their parents/siblings/spouses/children/friends again. Welcome home, we missed you!

2010-04-04T09:02:00.003-04:00

Pesach.

the time we were freed from slavery.

and we're supposed to free ourselves from being slaves to our own desires.

what are you a slave to?

i know right now I'm enslaved to my computer. yep, once again I'm waiting for an exam grade. we were supposed to email our professor before Wednesday so that on Thursday when she logged into her computer she would email everyone back. unfortunately for me, with all the Shabbos and chag, my week feels like it's been Friday Shabbos Sunday, Friday Shabbos Shabbos Sunday, Friday Shabbos Sunday....so i totally forgot to email my professor before pesach, and now i might have to wait until Thursday to find out how i did on my exam. but I'm not too worried, since everyone else in my class got in the 90's-psych nursing is pretty easy. the thing to remember is that involuntary admission can only happen when the patient is a danger to themselves or others. knowing that can help answer almost every single question.

in the beginning of the semester our professor told us that we should go see a Broadway show called Next To Normal, a story of a dysfunctional family affected by one of its members living with bipolar disorder. i had plans to go see Lion King with my future mother in law and assorted sisters-in-law, but the show was sold out. so on Thursday morning she got tickets to see Next To Normal. this wasn't a feel-good musical, where you leave singing. it was an emotional drama, and by the end of the show almost everyone was crying. but i must say, it was very powerful. my semester working with mentally ill may have opened my eyes to gain a little bit of what people deal with when they live with a mental disorder. i found it poignant and beautiful at the same time. highly recommended.

but the part of Pesach that's always been my favorite, and that which I've mentioned in the past, is the family part. first days we had a cousin from the Midwest over, a tradition three years running, and we did the second seder in the nursing home, like we did two years ago. second day lunch was spent at grandparents with Uncle2 and various other cousins. for shabbos we had Aunt from Far Away with all her kids, and we went to visit Uncle1. for the last days, we will be eating and hobnobbing with various other relatives. i know that by the time the dishes are all put away and the chametz is brought back out (hopefully not too late on Tuesday night, i need to be in the hospital at 6:50am on Wednesday) we'll be more than sick of each other and only too happy to get back to school/work, but for now, we're enjoying the chag, the weather, and the family, in a country where we are free to do as we please.

2010-03-21T18:07:00.003-04:00

you know the feeling you get after you eat a big meal? when you're so full that you almost can't move? that's the feeling i get in my brain after I've spent any substantial amount of time studying. i feel like my brain is full, and talking about anything other than what I've been studying will take up extra gray matter that i need to memorize all the information. not only that, once i start studying different disorders, i'm convinced I've got them all. since i'm studying neuro i'm positive that the twitch in my eye is going to become full-blown trigeminal neuralgia. not only that, i spent the entire weekend diagnosing everyone i came across with various personality disorders.

so i'd advise you to stay away from me until the end of the week. i might start listing the lobes of the brain and their functions. or the twelve cranial nerves. or i might try to convince you that you've got borderline personality disorder.

2010-03-05T08:54:00.003-05:00

nobody likes an overachiever.

one of the projects i'm currently working on for school, is researching and doing a presentation on the abuse of heroin. everyone in my class was assigned a different drug, and we started presentations this week. i had all my work written out, and i created flyers to hand out to the class with pictures on them. but the woman who presented first went all out and created a colossal poster, with tons of pictures and facts. now we all have to go back and add more stuff to our presentation so we don't look bad.

we should have made her go last

stupid lady

2010-03-02T13:08:00.002-05:00

first med-surg exam of the semester...

my stomach butterflies are having quite a lively game of volleyball right now. i don't why i always have small panic attacks before my nursing tests. they say that mild anxiety is good because it helps you stay focused and allows you to block out any distractors. but right now the last thing i want to do is study. I've read and reread my drug cards and now i can't look at them anymore. I've taken and retaken the online quizzes until i know all the questions and answers by heart. now I've got about 35 minutes to kill before i can go take the exam.

and it's not helping that my study partner is telling me about how this professor loves to ask obscure questions on material that hasn't' really been covered...

2010-02-26T13:56:00.003-05:00

being stuck in the house for two days should have made me more productive. i think it just made me lazier. i wrote a paper and prepared a presentation I'm giving to my class, and studied a bit, but because of all the snow days my two exams got pushed off a week, so I've pushed off my studying. it was a double feature in the Family Sitcom. in yesterday's episode, Teenaged Girl slept till 12:30 until she was woken up by Thirteen Year Old Boy complaining loudly that he was starving and didn't know it was a fast yesterday. thankfully the musical instruments didn't make their appearance until later that evening, after Accountant had given up her attempts at working from home. This morning things were slightly less intense, as The Whole Family cooked together for shabbos (not as beautiful as it sounds, trust me) and finished Purim baking.

now G6 may have been first to hang up her Haman men, but i one-upped her; i hung up twenty. ten in the living room and ten in the dining room. that's what happens when there is lots of time and not much to do. and since there's been no sign of my dad's friend with his plow, it looks like we'll be here for a bit longer. a Brooklyn Cousin was supposed to be coming for Shabbos and Purim but i don't know how's she's getting here since we are all housebound.

this year it is our turn in the Purim Meal Rotation, and my mom's been trying to figure out if she can fit everyone in our house without having to take the couches out of the living room. a certain rebbe will be gracing us with his (pantless) presence as always, but this year he is coming with a slightly smaller entourage, as his gabbai and shamash are both away, opening their own branches of his chassidus in other towns.

i did not have ample time to create a costume this year, so i will be dressing up as a nursing student with a diamond ring. very original. next year i will be forcing Mr. FCG to dress up with me (only he doesn't know that yet. I'm going to wait to break the news to him) as far as mishloach manos goes, i baked cake for everyone else, but this year i will just be giving two minim to one person-just enough to fulfill my obligation. if you are looking for me on Purim morning, just look for me in the college library desperately trying to find another article on Hindu culture and health care beliefs to hand in to my clinical instructor on Monday morning.

oh the joys of being a student.

wishing all a happy and safe Purim.

2010-02-19T15:14:00.003-05:00

with all that's been going on lately, i almost forgot my blogiversary! even though i don't have class on Fridays, they usually end up being my busiest day ever. i reserve Friday morning for practicing my nursing skills, and this morning i got tested on my last two med-surg skills for the semester, and probably the least fun of the skills; catheterization. i didn't have a lot of practice with this skill, but thanks to a friend of mine who had extra time to patiently sit with me and demonstrate the skill on the mannequins, over and over until i mastered it, i passed, and I've got a few weeks until i have to start the second set of skills, IV and enteral feeding.

so i haven't had much time to reflect in the last year of blogging, but i know that a lot of things have happened since then, some good and some bad.

to anyone who's been reading since i first started, i hope i haven't been too disappointing with all my slacking off lately.

and to my family who i know reads this, thanks for supporting me through everything

and I'd like to thank the academy for....

2010-02-13T23:27:00.002-05:00

No matter how many times i explain the shidduch system to my non-Jewish classmates, they still don't get it.

I've known Erin for about a year. i took Microbiology and two nursing classes with her. i explained the way Orthodox Jews date and get married, and although she found it bizarre, she got the hang of it. or so i thought.

then i got engaged.

and she said "so like, did you go out with him or your parents just told him you're marrying him?"

i don't think she'll ever get it.

2010-02-12T11:01:00.002-05:00

and i passed the first three skills of the semester!

stump wrapping was pretty easy, i practiced on the mannequins in school and then on sister2 at home. my aunt offered her kids to practice on, but thankfully they couldn't be of much help.

the other two skills were pouching a urostomy bag and irrigating a colostomy. and no, it's not as gross as everyone thinks it is. last semester i helped an LPN change a colostomy bag. it could have been the patient (who was very friendly and cheerful) but the experience wasn't as bad as I'd heard it would be.

so now I'm down three skills and I've got three more parts to go

overheard on my way to class

2010-02-08T10:30:00.002-05:00

Student: you didn't catch me with a cigarette in my hand, so you can't give me a ticket for smoking!

Campus Security: ma'am, were you just smoking?

Student: yes, but-no! you didn't catch me smoking, so i was not smoking! you can't give me a ticket! right now, there are like at least fifteen other people out there smoking who you can ticket!

2010-02-07T09:40:00.004-05:00

Dear fellow students at __________College,

i know that your schedule is every bit as demanding as mine. and i know that it's probably very stressful to have to be in school every morning as early as eleven am. and i know that you have a full load, balancing your math class with Intro to Literature and Sociology of Family and Marriage, especially since you're also taking four gym credits. and i know that feeling when you're running late, and everything is going wrong, and you have to go back into your house three times because you forgot your notebook, your phone charger, and your calculator. i know this because only last week it took me fifteen minutes to get from my room to my car because i had to keep turning around to get things I'd forgotten.

so you're already in a foul mood, and you know it's going to get worse because you didn't get a chance to have a smoke yet, and you don't want to smoke in your car because that is just revolting and disgusting, and you know you can't smoke on campus because the security has been extra vigilant about handing out tickets lately, so you zoom into the parking lot and start frantically looking for a spot. but I'm begging you, PLEASE don't take up two spots, just because you can't be bothered to take an extra second to straighten out your car. you have no idea how frustrating it is to see spot after spot that's not parkable because there's a car taking up two spots.

2010-01-25T19:28:00.003-05:00

Tonight my vacation ends.

well technically it ends tomorrow at 2pm when my class starts, but as of tomorrow morning I'll be in "school mode"

i know some people are bored by the end of their vacations, and ready to go back to school, but i for one could do with another two or three days of vacation. above all, i love having the free feeling of no obligations, and not always hearing my conscience nag me about studying, or reviewing.

my resolutions for the upcoming semester:

learn all the skills within the first month, and get tested right away

read a little bit every day so Shabbos afternoon can be reserved for sleeping

talk to my friends once a week so they don't feel like I've abandoned them

make sure to stay ahead of my class so i won't fall that far behind over Pesach

not use class as an excuse to miss weddings that i just don't feel like going to (unless it's a legitimate reason)

more from the auto show

2010-01-19T16:11:00.009-05:00

blogging from the North American International Auto Show

2010-01-19T10:42:00.002-05:00

when i saw the sign that said Blogger's Lounge, i just couldn't stay away. there was a big counter with big gorgeous iMacs that said "log into your blog and post what you've seen today" how could i resist an invitation like that?

so far Aunt Far Away and i have checked out all the Ford cars, entered a drawing for a free MP3 player, practiced virtual driving with a cardboard steering wheel, and sat in the driver's seat of the new Lincoln MKX. by far its coolest feature is a double mirror which enables you to see your blind spot without having to check over your shoulder.

i really wanted to practice the virtual parking assist but you only get to ride shotgun to an attendant, which isn't nearly as cool as sitting in the driver's seat and watch the wheel move on its own.

that's all for now. i have to go check out more cool cars and see if i can get a free t-shirt

2010-01-18T19:44:00.003-05:00

today the Far Away Cousins came home from school and told my aunt that not a single one of their teachers discussed or even mentioned Martin Luther King today. coming from a New York high school, i wasn't that surprised, because they never mentioned MLK day, September 11th, Kristallnacht, Pearl Harbor Day. i'm not putting all those days in the same category, or listing them based on importance, those were just things that were never discussed in my school. (I was actually the only one who even knew what and when Pearl Harbor Day was because i did a report on Hawaii and the U.S.S. Arizona when i was in fifth grade)

But for an out-of-town school, i was mildly surprised that they didn't discuss it. perhaps even more surprising, was that some girls in high school didn't even know that it was a legal holiday (i think the district doesn't have buses)

so in my own way i'm commemorating the man who gave one of the most powerful speeches i've ever heard, and perhaps the largest demonstration for civil rights in the history of the United States.

Let freedom ring.

2010-01-14T15:13:00.003-05:00

part of being a faithful Jew is about not questioning what happens, because we have no way of knowing what G-d's plan is. so when it looks like there's no way things are "fair" we have to realize that we're only seeing a thin slice of the master plan.

but it doesn't make it any easier when we're witness to a tragedy.

last night, a man was taken from this world. a man who lived his life as a generous individual, who loved people. a man who was not fortunate to walk the path of a religious Jew, but nevertheless lived a life of simchat hachaim. a man who worked hard to provide for his family, and the people who he knew. a man who always had a smile, and a joke ready, even when he was suffering and sick. a man who was loved by a lot of people, and will be missed by everyone who knew him.

2010-01-13T10:30:00.001-05:00

i used to think i had brown eyes.

or maybe i used to have brown eyes. in any case, it made shopping for clothing very easy, because i knew i looked good in purples and grays. it made makeup easy too, because i used brown eyeliner and brown mascara.

but lately I've noticed that my eyes are not looking so brown. in fact, there are some days that they look downright green. which got me thinking; my eyes are a little less brown and a little more hazel lately. i hate hazel. it's like a wimpy excuse for an eye color because your eyes can't decide what color they want to be, so they wait to see what the weather's going to be, or maybe what color shirt you're going to be wearing, before they decide which pigment they're going to be showing to the world.

hello, you can't be lazy if you're an eye color! just make up your mind and stick with it!

in any event, now i have to find a good green eyeliner, and new eye shadow. and besides, i liked having brown eyes. and I'm not loving the hazel all that much.

2010-01-10T10:30:00.000-05:00

whoever said that ice cream is a summer food obviously grew up way to quickly. and I'm willing to bet you'll find those people drinking coffee in the summer.

there's something about ice cream that's an all-weather, all-occasion food. the only time that's not optimal for eating ice cream is when you're actually thirsty, because it does nothing to quench your thirst, and will only make you thirstier. this probably a result of the salt that's found in ice cream, in addition to all the other solutes (sugars, fats, amino acids) that make your blood more concentrated and giving your hypothalamus the signal of dehydration.

in any event, ice cream is good a boredom buster, tastes good with waffles, and comes in white to minimize stains. what more could you want out of food?

when you go to an ice cream store you'll find two different kinds of ice cream eaters. the first category are those who are willing to try anything. every time they order ice cream they'll try out a different flavor. pistachio, chocolate chip mint, rose petals, garlic, grass, kishka...you name it. I've seen every single one of those flavors. the only one I've tried is mint chocolate chip. the reason why i don't take risks when it comes to ice cream is because i love plain vanilla ice cream, or cookie dough, and hate the thought of "wasting" an order of ice cream for something i won't be able to finish. take caramel or peanut butter for instance. I've tried the free samples and they were delicious. but it's very hard to finish a whole cone of caramel flavored ice cream. it's just too much. so i stick with the flavors i know i like.

when i was a kid i truly believed that ice cream was supposed to be eaten in a cone the same way soup was to be eaten with a spoon-i wouldn't have dreamed of eating it any other way. when i say cone i mean obviously mean sugar cone and not those awful fake waffle Styrofoam things. now i never eat ice cream in a cone, because i find that i end up with one big sticky mess.

so i just stick to vanilla ice cream in a bowl, and that makes me very very happy :)

2010-01-07T23:00:00.001-05:00

3:30pm

Today I experienced a first at the airport-the first time I flew without checking in any luggage. I don’t think it’s even possible to fly to Israel with only carry-on luggage, and since I’m only flying to the Midwest I managed to pack two weeks worth of clothing into an overnight bag. I know, impressive.

I learned a lesson when going through security-it’s not good to wear a sweatshirt and scarf under your coat. Because they’ll make you take everything off. And people behind you can get annoyed. Especially when they’re juggling a lot of bags, three cranky kids and one unhelpful husband. But as I waited, I watched a guy get detained in those glass holding cells. I was hoping for something interesting to happen, while feeling a little anxious, because my bags were next to his, but fortunately nothing happened. After a few minutes a security guard came and let him out.

I’m wondering if the airline was trying to be funny when they put my flight at the same gate as the flight to Fort Lauderdale, like their way of saying “ha, stupid people, why would you want to fly from Cold New York to Freezing Michigan?” at least that’s what people have been saying to me for the past two weeks. But at least I know I’m going somewhere cold. All the people who are bound for Florida think they’re getting nice weather and are in for a bit of a shock. I heard the temperatures in Florida reached as low as 30 degrees this week.

So now I’m sitting at the gate and hoping that I’ll be able to pass my very compactly-packed overnight bag through the last hurdle so I can bring it on to the plane and shove it in the overhead bulk and spend the entire time worrying that I’ll forget to take it off the plane with me. But it’s all worth it, because when I get off the plane, I won’t have to wait around for luggage.

6:53pm

Well my flight was quick and uneventful. I always like to keep my phone on for as long as possible, and see how high up in the air I can still get cell service. Since I refuse to pay an extra fee for my seat, I’m subjected to whichever seat is randomly assigned to me by the airline. Middle seat in the second-to-last row. I thought the situation could not have been any worse until I saw my seatmate who was taking up all of his seat and just a little bit of mine. Not enough to actually request a switch (especially since the flight was totally full) but just enough to be marginally uncomfortable. Thankfully my other seatmate was slightly undersized, so I sat as far to the left as possible. The entire flight was spent my music on a little louder than usual to drown out the screaming baby sitting one row over. It seems like I've traded in one snowy landscape for another. If I thought I was escaping the white outdoors of New York, I was wrong. It’s snowing here and the ground is already covered with about two inches of snow. Still, the cold will not deter me. Vacation is about taking it easy and sleeping late and I can still do that with frigid temperatures of 15 degrees.

2010-01-05T21:16:00.005-05:00

i hate the game of Clue.

it's the only game that my father refuses to play with my little brother, who loves it. my mother has no problems playing the game, and tonight i got roped (no pun intended) into playing with them.

for starters, i never remember the actual logistics of the game, and i need a little refresher course each time i play. the first round was over in about four seconds when i (unknowingly) gave away the answer. I'm still not sure how i managed that.

in addition, i kept accidentally leaving my top card face up, causing my mother, brother2, and sister2 to dive for the pens and start scratching off their paper.

while venting my frustration, sister1 announced that the "only way to play this game, like any other strategy game, is to cheat" but even with her looking at the other players' cards and texting me, i still couldn't' manage to win.

it's hard enough trying to remember who showed me which cards, i can't sit trying to figure out which card my sister is showing my brother, and what he's crossing off. I'm just as happy to let Col. Mustard get away with murder. but don't bother asking me where or how he did it. because i have no clue.

Blogger is reunited with missing ipod after three weeks

2010-01-03T10:30:00.002-05:00

last night in an astounding turn of events, a local blogger's missing ipod turned out, seemingly out of nowhere. sister1 was sitting on the couch and noticed a baseball card sticking up between the cushions. she dug into the couch and flicked a handful of cards onto FCG's lap.

"oh, look what's here!" she exclaimed, and the ipod landed on FCG'S lap. there were exclamations of surprise and delight all around.

"i know that FCG has been very worried about her ipod. she called me every two days to see if it had turned up in my apartment" commented a friend

so far the ipod has not yet spoken about what it was doing in the couch or how it got down there.

"I'm just very happy to have it back" said FCG in a statement to the press "right now I'm just going to spend time recharging and reconnecting with my ipod"

2009-12-30T10:30:00.000-05:00

I've often heard the older generation lamenting the fact that nowadays there is no privacy because people have no qualms about talking about everything on their cellphones when they're in public. today while riding public transportation i learned quite a lot about the frum woman behind me

her name is Perel

she lives in Boro Park

she works for a non-profit organization

she has a staff of three and doesn't really love her boss so much

she's working on a big project for before Purim where she plans to send home some material with the kids

one of her really good friends just got divorced and went through a really tough time with an overprotective, abusive husband (I'm not making this up, i heard her telling her friend that she needs to "detox from victim mode, because you're husband was a horrible abusive person")

i gleaned all this information from various phone calls she made to colleagues and friends. but the best was when she called her friend Yehudis who'd just had a baby. the call went something like this:

"hi, it's Perel, is Yehudis around? (pause) oh sure, thank you! (laughs) Yehudis, hiiiii!!! how's your baby??? how are you feeeelinggggggg?? hello was that your babysitter, she's hysterical!! what? That was your husband?? that TOTALLY sounded like a woman!!"

at this point i couldn't control myself anymore and i actually burst out laughing. she must have heard me because she lowered her voice a little bit and moved back a seat.

in fact, sister2 told me that when she called me (my conversation was very quick and to the point, and my voice was very quiet) she heard a woman talking very loudly.

seriously, what has this world come to!?!? (head shake) adults these days....

2009-12-27T10:30:00.000-05:00

over shabbos something came up that got me thinking.

we were discussing the parsha at the table, and my cousin was re-enacting how Chushim ben Dan knocked off Eisav's head with a stick and it rolled into Mearat Hamachpaila. that was when someone commented how some of the parshiot are bloodbaths. sister2 pointed out that the stories from Navi can be even more gruesome, as the Jewish kings were constantly fighting battles for land.

"they always got stabbed in the same spot" she commented "right below the fifth rib"

"well that's the spot that closest to the heart" my dad said. he looked at me "right, Miss Nursing Student?" (whenever we discuss anything anatomy or medical related, my parents look to me for confirmation. definitely keeps me on my toes!)

so i explained about the PMI for listening to the apical pulse being in the fifth intercostal space at the mid-clavicular line. but then i recalled how sometimes it takes me a good minute or two to find the right spot to listen to the heart. i wonder how warriors in battle were able to find it in an instant. maybe they had soldiers who were designated to run ahead and grab the enemies, hold them down and feel under their armor for the ribs, count to the fifth, and mark it with a Sharpie, so the advancing army would know exactly where to shoot.

2009-12-24T22:17:00.002-05:00

this winter, is going to be electrifying.

literally.

Ive found in the past weeks that I'm extremely static-y. i walk across a carpet, and touch the doorknob and it sparks. when i open my car door, i feel a slight singe when my fingers come in contact with the metal. and my hair stands straight up every time i touch it.

i can spray as much Static-Guard as i want, but it doesn't really help. and i can't stand the way it smells. i feel like one of these days I'm going to spontaneously combust.

so if you see me, don't hug me please. just wave hi. and if you need to pass me something, just toss it to me. because if you do touch me, you're in for a shocking experience.

2009-12-18T10:30:00.000-05:00

the late nights spent studying...

the mornings i woke up a lot earlier than i wanted to...

the hours spent studying in the library...

the afternoons spent on chairs and the floor of the skills lab...

coming home from clinicals with the smell of nursing home and hospital in my clothing and my hair...

...it all became worth it when i sat down in my professor's office yesterday and she looked up at me and said "congratulations, you passed!"

another semester of nursing school under my belt...and I'm a little bit closer to my goal.

the countless coffee cups and scattered textbooks give silent testimony to all that I've been doing. now i can clean my room up, and put the books back on the shelf. now i can hang up my stethoscope and put my uniform in the back of the closet. now i can read all the books i haven't been able to finish, because i didn't have those long hours to just sit and read. now, i have vacation.

2009-12-17T10:30:00.000-05:00

there's a frum female singer out there who is generally well-liked in my house by myself and sister1. some of her songs have made it to the list of regularly sung songs, along with some JEP songs, Journeys songs (we've finally learned all the correct lyrics, my parents still have a field day with the fact that we used to sing about "religious doorbells" instead of "religious dogma" we were like 8 and 9 at the time) and a few Shwekey tunes.

but i was singing a particular song one day, when i suddenly realized what i was singing and felt the need to explore the lyrics further:

is the way to happiness the path to success

can i be satisfied if I'm something less

than the doctor, the lawyer they hoped i would be

so what if I'm happy just to be me

each day every hour, on me they depend

to be mother a sister, plus a wife and a friend

i have a profession, though no PHD

but today i am happy just to be me

i don't need a license, don't need a degree

for I'm in the business of a woman you see

my life's full of meaning and my home's full of life

i don't need all that money to be doing all right

there's not much vacation, get no time to rest

my house is my office, and my kitchen's my desk

i work for Hashem, yes the Torah's my trade

maybe I'm overworked but I'm not underpaid

i spent at least twenty minutes trying to write out how i thought about this songs, but no matter how i put it, i sounded nasty or just plain stupid. so i'm going to leave the comments to the people who do it best (my readers) and the opinion-giving to those who do it best (my relatives) because i know that you'll either leave your opinion here or tell it to me the next time i see you :)

2009-12-16T10:30:00.000-05:00

i have a classmate named Jamie who is a secular Jew, but knows more about Judaism than i would have expected from her. although her opinions and views of the Orthodox community are sometimes slightly skewed, it's always fun to hear what she knows

we were talking about FrumClassmate's chassan (FrumClassmate recently got engaged)

Jamie: what's his name?

FrumClassmate: (hesitates) Mordy

Brittany: Mordy? what kind of name is that?

Jamie: it's short for Mordechai

(turns to FrumClassmate) what's he doing? is he still in yeshiva?

On Jewish names:

Jamie: i have a Jewish name! it's Rochel Tzivia. my husband can't pronounce it, so he calls me Rokkel Sylvia-he's not Jewish so he's not so good at the "ch" sound-and i tell him 'honey, it's Tzivia, not Sylvia"

Brittany: cool, what's my Hebrew name?

Jamie: you don't have one because you're not Jewish

Brittany: so did you get your Hebrew name at your bar mitzvah?

Jamie: ha! boys have bar mitzvahs and girls have bat mitzvahs, but i got it when i was born

On the laws of modesty:

FrumClassmate: tomorrow Ora is coming to study with us

Brittany: is Ora Orthodox too?

FrumClassmate: sort of

Brittany: but she wears pants, are you allowed to wear pants too?

Jamie: no pants aren't modest. i wear pants because I'm Reform

On restaurants:

FrumClassmate: I'm starving

Me: if we finish early, you can go grab some food for lunch

FrumClassmate: yea, i wish, but i have a gown to fit into (i will be closely monitoring Frum Classmate for signs of morphing into a Brido-Sapien)

Jamie: hey yea, you can go to Purple Bear

Me: Purple Pear, and where did you hear about that?

Jamie: i heard the Orthodox girls in my Monday class talking about it

On kosher:

Jamie pulls out a hero sandwich and starts to eat

Lisa: oh man I'm starving, I'll trade you half of my peanut butter and jelly sandwich for half of your sub

(yes, at twenty and twenty six people are still trading lunch)

Jamie looks up at me: you want some? oh wait it's not kosher, I'm sorry

(people often feel the need to apologize for eating non-kosher food in front of me)

she rummages in her bag and comes out with a protein bar: see it's got the circle with the U in it, that means the rabbi blessed it so you're allowed to eat it right?

things to remember for my final

2009-12-14T22:26:00.003-05:00

1. patients can be in negative nitrogen balance when they are severely bleeding or have large burns
2. an extra hour of sleep the night before the final is more beneficial than an extra hour of cramming
3. care not documented is care not done
4. wearing a bright colored shirt helps me stay positive and focused

5. recommended daily allowance of fiber is 21-38 grams

6. the first answer, is usually the correct one. if i change an answer, i'll probably end up regretting it

7. any action that is nurse-initiated is an independent one

8. there's only so much i can study, and after that, i have to just take a deep breath and do my best

2009-12-10T23:02:00.003-05:00

Shabbos Chanuka.

definitely a highlight in my family. yet another gathering of relatives to look forward to.

although this year, the numbers will be significantly decreased. alas, the Far Away Aunt will not be in town with her brood like she was last year. we'll all miss her very much. although i won't miss her as much as everyone else, because I'll be going there on hiatus in January :) in addition, Uncle2 might not be coming, as last heard, a number of his kids were sick, but we're hoping that will change so they can join in the festivities. indeed brother2 is hoping so. because without the Far Away cousins, and the Three Wisecracking Musketeers in yeshiva, Cousin Scooter will be the only boy cousin, and if he doesn't come, poor brother2 will have to spend an entire weekend with three sisters and a school of squeaking female cousins.

I'm hoping for a shabbos free from plays and choirs. since sister2 was little, it's become somewhat of a tradition to perform a skit of some sort. unfortunately, it's also become a tradition that there are too many directors and petulant actors, fighting, and at least three people quitting, and everyone ending in tears, before all the adults are sheparded into the playroom and instructed to sit on the floor and watch. the worst play was entitled The Three Rotten Eggs, or something like that. but hopefully after Pesach's play, which was really watching some cousins play house and "pretend" (was it only in jest?) to throw fake crockery at each other, while managing to to wreck the basement, while those on the floor alternated between chuckling and casting sideways horrified glances at my grandfather to see his reaction, there won't be anymore plays.

Of course any meal wouldn't be complete without Aunt3's mojitos, and if sister1 remembers her Cocktails for Dummies, some more interesting drinks. i hope she remembers, as I'm getting a little bored of mint flavored rum, even if my aunt does have cool martini glasses.

but above all, it's a time we're all looking forward to (maybe Aunt3 less then everyone, as she's hosting most of the crowd this year), to get together and spend time with each other, and strengthen the bond of family that ties us together.

Lost: one ipod

2009-12-07T21:50:00.004-05:00

first generation nano

about three and half inches tall

black face, silver back, badly scratched

answers to the name Jordan

last seen about two weeks ago

i have no clue where my ipod is and it's driving me crazy. i like to think that i don't lose things; i merely misplace them. I've had bracelets that I've "lost" dozens of times, only to have them show up, or remember where I've left them. this doesn't cause me to be careless with my possessions, but i haven't the slightest clue as to where my ipod could be. I've checked my bottomless green bag millions of times, thoroughly searched my car and my dad's car, and searched sister1's bedroom from top to bottom. i spoke to everyone who's homes and cars I've been in in the past two weeks, and it hasn't shown up. i can't fall asleep, can't wind down at the end of the day, and can't study without it. I've had my ipod since eleventh grade, and i feel like i'm missing a friend.

2009-11-29T13:11:00.004-05:00

i find nail polish, like crayons, to be slightly disappointing.

they both have such lovely colors, and one would expect them to taste or smell really good too.

as a kid i remember biting into a crayon, only to find that it tasted like wax. the Crayola crayons prove to me the most deceptive, because they have such descriptive names, and they all taste the same. slightly waxy, and not very tasty.

and while i never tasted nail polish (i think it would be slightly more toxic than crayons) it never smells like the color looks like it should, but just smells like nail polish.

i was in a clothing store, paying for clothing, when i saw a nail polish labeled Espresso Yourself. the color was such a lovely brown, and really looked like chocolate. i uncapped the bottle and sniffed, only to be hit with the usual nail polish smell. "ugh, smells like nail polish" i muttered to myself. i placed the bottle back on the rack, and looked up, only to be greeted by the puzzled face of the cashier. i bet she was wondering what i expected it to smell like.

i have a nail polish that's a deep purple. that too proves to be disappointing, because it doesn't smell anything like the plum shade that's found in the bottle.

2009-11-27T11:34:00.003-05:00

Thanksgiving is replete with traditions.

i know that almost every frum family who shops in Pathmark (or is it Shoprite?) is eating a turkey this shabbos, and we've done that this past year, but my dad's away in Israel until Monday, so we're eating at my uncle this shabbos ("no I'm not dating anyone now" "no i don't make up my numbers when i take the patients' vital signs" "no i don't even have one drink when I'm driving home")

i decided to skip the Black Friday tradition this year, after last year's fiasco at Best Buy. it seems that my family doesn't have such good luck with Best Buy sales. today my grandfather waited on line at Best Buy in New Jersey, which supposed to be opening up at 5 am. unfortunately, the cops were there too. apparently there's some law in New Jersey that states that stores can't open before 7, so he left.

but i did go to the parade yesterday. i didn't want to wake up earlier than i have to do on a regular day, and i had no interest in hanging out on the curb, watching sunrise, just to get a good spot. i ended up on 42nd, watching a few cartoons floating in the sky, and then managed to worm my way through the crowd, and got close enough to the street to be able to see the marching bands. having spent a year fighting with pushy Israelis, the crowd didn't phase me much. my friend and i took turns standing on each others feet. i felt quite old when some cartoon characters that i didn't recognize came by, but for the most part i was able to name most of them.

since the Macy's block was closed off, we couldn't look at the windows displayed, but we did check out the ones at Lord and Taylor, as well as watching the skaters at the pond in Bryant Park. i love watching people skate. i don't know what i find more comical-the three-year-olds who look like they were born with skates on their feet, or the adults who look like a newborn deer standing on their legs for the first time. or maybe the three-year-olds skating circles around the adults.

it was an altogether relaxing and enjoyable vacation. and to all the naysayers out there who told me i would be stuck in traffic for hours and hours; total traveling time, there and back, was under three hours

2009-11-25T12:57:00.002-05:00

i am thankful for

Starbucks lattes, which keep me awake when my brain stem can't

my nursing advisor, who always is available to listen to me vent

flash drives

scarves

my ability to focus which allows me to study for hours on end

the patience of my friends and family, who put up with my rants

the ability to go to college and pursue my dream

DDR

clean linen

my health

the right to live without persecution

2009-11-23T12:30:00.002-05:00

the books in the college library have disappeared.

the library has two floors. the downstairs floor is mainly used for study groups and socializing, but the back and sides have numerous shelves which always contained a lot of books. (obviously) all the nursing textbooks are on the side shelves, so i never really browsed the section in the back. as such, i couldn't tell you which books were found there, but apparently nobody else was looking at those books either. behind the shelves are about eight tables where people sit and study. i prefer to sit upstairs for many reasons, but mainly because it's warmer and a little quieter. two weeks ago the tables upstairs were full so i was sitting downstairs, when i felt like something was different. at first i couldn't put my finger on it. then i realized the acoustics were different. the voices had previously been bouncing off the shelved books...and there weren't any books anymore! the shelves were all empty. there were no signs explaining why the books had been taken off the shelves, and nobody seemed to be searching for an answer.

which might be why they've disappeared.

2009-11-22T10:27:00.002-05:00

Lately, I've had the same discussion with a lot of my single friends.

they're all waiting for their match to be discovered. it's very easy to say the right words "i know he's out there...when the time is right we'll meet...i just have to have bitachon..." but actually believing that it's all in His hands is a lot harder than that. i feel like I've spent all my years in a Bais Yakov school, hearing teachers talk about having faith, and emunah, and total trust. when you're in high school, and you are lucky to live an blessedly ordinary life, there isn't much to test you in your faith. but once you're waiting for something big, you can actually see how much harder it is to actually have emunah that the right one is out there, and one day you will meet your destined other half.

and it becomes so clear that you can do everything humanly possible, but at the end of the day, it is all up to Him, and only when He deems it the right time, will you find the right one.

if it's hard now, i can only imagine the emunah it takes to be a parent, and raise a child, and hope that it all turns out OK.

it comes it little moments of self-doubt, late at night, or in shul looking at a neighbor's little grandchildren, or at a wedding of yet another friend. the important thing to know is that you're not the only one who's struggling. you may feel like you're alone, but you're not. there are other people out there who are going through the same thing you are. so call someone up. cry on a shoulder. that's what friends are for. and keep holding on to the faith that He cares about you and has a plan for you, that's only going to benefit you.

2009-11-15T21:39:00.002-05:00

being the only religious Jew in my clinical of eight students, means I'm somewhat of a interesting person. in terms of diversity, we're pretty even, but when it comes to religion I'm the only who one who's actually practicing. having been properly warned by everyone in my life, i steer clear of any philosophical discussions regarding keeping Shabbos, only eating Kosher, or believing in an afterlife. the girls in my class just wanted to know if I'm going to "have an arranged marriage" I've gotten pretty good at explaining, in the briefest and simplest of terms how the shidduch system works.

I've never been asked out by any of classmates, something that I'm thankful for, especially having heard stories from my friends who've had to politely but firmly decline offers from interested classmates. but last week a guy in my class tried to set me up.

his patient was an older Chassidic guy, who's young grandson was helping him get dressed and read over the Torah portion of the week. after my classmate (whose name is Sal) finished up with morning cares, he came over to me with a grin
"hey listen, i was talking to Mr. G's grandson-he's twenty two, and pretty smart. he's also not bad looking, and a really nice guy, very respectful to his elders. come with me, i want to introduce him to you"

even after i smiled and politely declined, he insisted that i was missing out by not agreeing to be introduced to said grandson. so i explained that this fellow was Chasidic, while i was looking for someone more mainstream Orthodox. But Sal just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, convinced i was making a big mistake. i half expected him to turn around and say "listen mamela, this one's a real ilui, you should at least agree to meet him!"

2009-11-12T21:50:00.002-05:00

the mildly dangerous wildlife animals are slowly taking over the neighborhood.

deer and turkey are abound in my area. since i live across the street from a heavily wooded area, it was never uncommon to see deer crashing through the foliage or occasionally see a wild turkey early in the morning on the way to school, but lately they've become more bold, and less scared of humans.

recently I've seen more and more wild turkeys on the road, and they aren't afraid of the cars. they don't scatter in a satisfying noisy flurry of big wings and weird turkey-sounds. in fact, they just poke their skinny necks out and look at me with big beady eyes. it would be funny if it wasn't so annoying. it's not like i can just run the creatures over. I'd probably get fined because it's not hunting season or something.

as for the deer, I've started seeing them on our lawn more and more often. the other week when i opened the front door three of them went running past the front walk. i felt like i was in a scene out of Pocahontas or something. but by far the scariest was when i came home late on night, and parked my car, only to find a huge deer standing on the lawn, about four feet away from my car. when i got out of the car and made my way towards the front door, it started moving towards me. so i decided to spend the night in my car. but after about six minutes of thinking about my comfortable bed, i realized that i wanted to be inside. so i made a mad dash for the garage, woke up everyone in the process, but at least got safely inside.

but it's slightly unsettling that the animals aren't scared of cars. kind of like a child who realizes that his parent can't control him. now he's fearless and will do whatever he wants. before you know it, the wildlife will be in control. i say get out vests and start hunting. and maybe we can get rid of the Canadian geese while we're at it.

2009-11-08T09:40:00.002-05:00

this tale is an epic one of sadness. it speaks of pain and betrayal, of tears of agony and frustration.

it's the story of our vacuum cleaner. it's a big heavy clunker of a vacuum, with a long hose and a huge canister. we've had it for as long as i can remember.

let me start off by explaining, that everyone has that one household chore they abhor. sister 1 hates doing dishes. sister 2 dislikes ironing and folding laundry. and i don't like vacuuming. maybe it's the model we own, but in my mind, i associate vacuuming the house with lugging a very large, and unwieldy machine up a flight of stairs, squashed toes, and smashed feet. did you know that if you hit your ankle bone with a metal piece that it's really really painful? like seeing-stars-wanting-to-yelp-very-loudly-painful

as far back as i can remember, there's always been something wrong with the vacuum. they guy who fixes it is practically on speed dial, and at least once a month when my mom goes out, she leaves last minute instructions, "if Mr. L calls, tell him he can come by to look at the vacuum, the broken piece in question is by the front door."

i compare it to the story of the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz. for anyone who doesn't know it, the Tin Man was once a regular woodcutter who accidentally cut off his arm, and got it replaced with a tin arm. (i think there was a beautiful girl, and evil witch, and a cursed axe in the story too) the same thing happened with the rest of his body over time, so that at the end, he was completely made of tin. after all the years of being fixed and replaced, i don't think any part of the vacuum cleaner is of the original one that we used to own.

i think my mother has a sentimental attachment to the monster, because i for one, wish we can get rid of it. i think vacuuming on my hands and knees with a Dustbuster would be more pleasant at this point.

2009-11-05T22:33:00.002-05:00

completing my clinical rounds in nursing homes has made me very thankful that i am healthy. it's taught me to appreciate the gift of youth, and to be glad for everything I've been blessed with.

when my hair gets long, and i need to get a haircut, i am thankful that i have all my hair

when I'm about to go somewhere and my gas light goes on, i am thankful that i can drive

when my siblings wake me up, or ask me for rides, i am thankful that they are all healthy and under one roof

when my friends cancel our plans at the very last minute, i am thankful that i have friends who care about me

when I'm stressed out because I'm studying for tests, i am thankful that i am perfectly capable of studying and retaining information

when my dentist hounds me to come in and have my teeth cleaned, i am thankful that i have teeth.

it may sound funny, but so many little things are taken for granted, or maybe even seen as hindrances, but once we lose them, or they are taken away, we realize how much we depended on these things.

2009-11-03T17:04:00.002-05:00

last week i proctored some tests in my old high school. I've been back in the school since i graduated, but this time i got the chance to observe the girls for awhile.

i totally understand what was meant by saying that every 5 years is a new generation. the girls in high school are very different than the way we were. for starters, when i graduated high school, there were three girls who had cellphones. today, the girls who don't have phones are the minorities (nevertheless, i still did want to throw something at the girl who called me "part of the older generation" when i told this to a group of twelfth graders) for one thing, the seniors are much more focused on what they want to do with their lives. i only had one friend who was sure in twelfth grade, of what path her life would take, was the girl who got engaged in December. for the rest of us, we knew to stick it out till January, finish up regents, go to Israel, and then...

but in some ways, i feel like things are always the same. there are still cliques, and groups of friends. the bathrooms are still a safe place to hide when you want to skip class, and there's always that one girl who insists on reviewing her notes, just one more time, even as the tests are being handed out. as i sat at the teacher's desk, observing the girls writing, i looked around the classrooms. if the walls could only talk, they'd have a myriad of stories to tell. of the secrets that were whispered, the fights that were fought, and friendships that were created. of the good times and bad. the planning for school activities, the practices for productions, the songs that were sung, and the lessons that were learned.

my own personal memories were bouncing around and hitting me all afternoon. the time my friend spilled her yogurt and it looked like the map of Africa, and the chess games we used to have at lunch. all the literature we read and discussed, from Lord of the Flies, to Frankenstein. the detentions i sat, and the countless meetings i had in the principals office, from the small infractions, like not having my shirt tucked in, to the the big decisions that were made, like deciding my next step after high school. the friends i made, whether it's those who i talk to every day, or the ones who i never see. the tests i studied for, the bulletin boards i created, the workshops i sat through, and the basketball games i played. the hill in the backyard where we used to go sledding, the waterfall we used to sit in when we cut class, and the pavement where we went rollerblading. it's easier to only remember the good times, and it's better that way too. every experience in life has its obstacles, but looking back, the good times overshadow the unpleasant ones, and make recalling those years easier.

one good turn deserves another...

2009-10-25T22:53:00.003-04:00

JAWS (Jewish Alliance for Women in Science) is an organization for the promotion of Jewish women in math and science degrees. founded in 2009, the organization is still in developing stages, but for anyone out there who's either in a science/math-related degree, or looking into one, keep this site bookmarked on your computer and check it often, because they'll be fully up and running soon. they offer an e-mentoring program, as well as an area for discussion in almost any topic pertaining to science and math.

the reason why I'm promoting this site, is because they've got me linked on their Media page, along with Seminary to Scientist, the blog of a frum MD-PhD student.

2009-10-23T10:47:00.003-04:00

there are some things you just don't learn in a Bais Yakov high school.

like how to act in college classes.

or it could just be a personality thing. i know that some girls graduate and go out into the "real world" as they're so fond of calling it, and acclimate well, and know how to balance being a religious young woman, and a college student, or a working professional. i like to think i can put myself in that category.

but then there are girls who haven't shed that last layer of wide-eyed naivety. and they go out into the world thinking that everyone is nice and friendly. and that college is a place where everyone is ready to eagerly soak up everything, and gain much knowledge.

obviously, this is not the case. especially in community college, where you can sometimes find the dregs of society. so just because there are 25 students sitting in a classroom, doesn't mean there are 25 people who are interested in learning. in all my nursing classes so far, there are usually 2 or 3 people who are only becoming nurse because their moms or dads are nurses. there are usually another 2 people that have somehow managed to squeak by, but make me wonder how they're going to last all the way until graduation without failing out. and then there's always that one person that sleeps through every single class. but even those that are there and willing to learn, don't always want to sit through class.

which brings me to my point; stupid questions. every professor, every teacher will announce that there are no stupid questions-i strongly disagree. there is an immeasurably large amount of stupid questions that can be asked. i try to think twice before i ask a question, because if not, once the words come out of my mouth, i realize that i already know the answer. of course, i look kind of weird when I'm talking to myself, but i don't mind that.

there is a frum girl in one of my classes who comes to every class, determined to learn everything there is to know, which is very commendable, but she should really take some time to stop and think before asking every single question. everyone is entitled to learn, and if she learns by asking questions, I'm not faulting her for that. but perhaps if she thought about some of her questions before she asked them, she'd realize that maybe she should just keep quiet and look them up when she gets home, or ask someone a little more worldly than herself.

2009-10-12T16:22:00.001-04:00

why will people believe anything hear, read, or see? i know someone who writes stuff on his blog and then quotes himself, claiming that he "read it online somewhere" And people will take it as truth! I've gotten every kind of stupid forward, about Microsoft giving away computers, Gap presenting free clothing, and Bill Gates wanting to share his fortune. I've been warned about everything, from free perfume samples, to cars driving without headlights, but nothing even comes close to the email i received last night from a girl who went to seminary with me. There's new law that mandates health care workers and students to get vaccinated with the H1N1 vaccine. There has been some controversy stirred as to the danger of getting vaccinated, since at the present the only form of the vaccine available is the live nasal spray. But this email claimed that Obama is comparable to Hitler. here is an expert of the email, as copied directly from my inbox.

"...On a more serious note: Starting THIS Thursday, they will be forcing health care professionals to get the swine flu vaccination. This is the first step of a major plan to vaccinate the entire nation. Keep away from the swine flu shot-swine flu is not worse than the regular flu and certainly does not compare to the vaccination which will cause an epidemic. The government wants to infect you, kill or sterilize you with their shots. This is mamesh pikuach nefesh and it is our obligation to warn as many people as possible. Please forward this message to everyone you know. Obama is worse than Hitler and he wants to reduce the world's population (ie.genocide) with these murderous vaccines. ..."

i was stunned when i read it. i know people will forward just about anything but this really takes the cake. the first part of the email may hold some validity, but the government wants to kill or sterilize the nation??? i mean, i tell people that the FBI tapes all my phone conversations, but i don't really believe that!

unless there really is some mass plot to get rid of the entire nation, starting with health care workers...

2009-10-12T13:02:00.004-04:00

The second days of Succot and Pesach are always slightly more frenzied, as we try to get every enjoyment out of those 48 hours. for some people it's sleeping more, for some, it's cramming in more food. others try to read all the books they took out of the library, because their busy schedules don't allow for leisure time. for people who have demanding careers, it's all about family times.

i was in shul on Shminni Atzeret, listening to the reading of Kohelet, and wondering why it's read on Succot. my dad says it's a simple process of elimination. the only chag and megillah left after matching up the pairing ones are Succot and Kohelet. according to the Artscroll chumash, Succot is a holiday of joy. there is relief that the Yomim Noraim are over, and the harvest is complete, and with unrestrained joy comes inappropriate behavior, so we read the words of Shlomo, to remind us that all is futile. having said that, it is extremely difficult to keep up with the reading, because it is read so fast. it's not helped by the fact that every pasuk starts with the words "ki" and ends with the words "tachat hashemesh" one i lost the place it was hard to find it again.

Learning how to appreciate Simchat Torah was hard. once i reached the stage where i was too old to sit on my dad's shoulders and collect candy from the men dancing, it became easy to sit on the other side of the mechitza and complain about the boring unfairness of it all. but then one year i sat next to a neighbor of mine who was crying softly as the torah reading was completed. as i looked at her face, i realized that she was crying tears of happiness and then i realized that underneath all the merriment and dancing, there is an aspect to the chag that could make you want to cry tears of joy. all you have to do is sit think for a minute about how lucky we are to be the Chosen Ones.

we daven at two different shuls on Simchat Torah. at night we go to a shul where there is a lot of great dancing. during the day we go to a shul where this a lot of great candy. of course the candy-collecting is restricted to boys and little girls, and sister2 lamented the fact that she has no younger siblings/nieces/nephews/cousins to collect candy for her, but my aunt always brings great chocolate for the women upstairs. but far surpassing the great candy, is the davening and the tunes. once the dancing has cleared away, and the screaming babies have been brought back to the babysitters, the real simchat torah is displayed. with regal coverings and silver crowns, the sifrei torah are the center of the shul as the chazzan and the gabbaim dance and bow with the scrolls as the whole congregation as the entire congregation sings the joyous tune of Agil V'esmach, and proclaims the exhilaration and sanctity of the day.

they say that Rosh Hashana, is the longest day of the year. but in my mind, Simchat Torah takes the prize. it's the only day when shul doesn't end till two, the only day when we don't eat lunch till 4. of course, it's the only day (besides Purim) when kids are allowed to eat unlimited amounts of candy. when i was little, i used to collect enough candy to last me until right before Purim.

the hardest part of the chag is taking down the decorations and dismantling the succah. last night we managed to take down all the decorations and chains in record time. I'd like to think it was that we were infused with energy. but it was probably the fact that it was very cold outside, and much warmer inside.

but long after the glitter and tinsel has been packed away, and the leftovers have been eaten, the little glow infused from the week of y't will linger and keep through the start of the winter.

2009-10-08T09:10:00.002-04:00

Succot. One of the most beautiful holidays of the year, in my opinion. Once we've survived the Succah Building and I’ve successfully managed to dodge cooking duty (Just kidding mom, I really DID have to study) I can look forward to spending y't with family and friends.

This year, the new recipes all went over pretty well. We laughed about the ill-fated Touchdown Chicken Fajitas, and fondly recalled the Fizzy Chicken. Succot is the anniversary of many different things, among them, what my dad likes to call the Succot Massacre. About five years ago, his friend's elderly father was the unfortunate victim when a table full of taleisim, lulavim, and esrogim collapsed on his leg. Thankfully he wasn't hurt, but he was so fed up (my shul takes a REALLY long time on y't, one of the many reasons why I daven at the earlier minyan) that he got up and left.

Chol hamoed, as I’ve said before, strikes terror in the heart of parents, as the kids start the famous What-are-we-doing-today-whine, as the dads slip out the door to work, grinning and whistling cheerfully. For those of us who are lucky enough to be retaining an education, and maybe taking exams the week of Succot, the joys of freedom are marred by the threat of an exam hanging over our heads. So I compromised. I met a friend and hung out with her in the city all morning, and the lugged my books over to Bryant Park where I sat in the shade of Chabad of Midtown's succah and studied Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and Erikson's psychosocial stages of development against the background noises of the pigeons, and the shlichim asking passersby if they wanted to come sit in the succah. When I got tired of studying, I wandered over to Times Square where I spent two minutes sitting in each chair on Broadway.

Tuesday was such a disaster that I won't even mention it here, except to say that the redeeming factor was that I spent time with my family, and I was so tired when I got home, that I was in bed by 10:30, which left me well rested for my exam on Wednesday, which hopefully, I did well on, but I’m sitting on pins and needles waiting for my results.

Second days are coming up pretty soon, with the Annual Hoshana Raba breakfast being held on Friday morning to look forward to as well. I’m not such a big fan of Simchat Torah, but I’m not going to complain about it, so instead I will focus on attempting to channel the joy of being the People of the Book.

2009-09-25T09:54:00.003-04:00

Birthdays are a very central point in life. besides for the obvious, i mean. discounting the fact that you're now a year older, there's so much you can get out of a birthday. if your family and friends celebrate it correctly, birthdays can be a great thing.

sister2 turned sixteen this year. it was the day after she'd come home from camp, and most of the world was transitioning from summer to fall, so her friends didn't throw her a party, and we didn't hang up signs. i made her favorite cake, and she was allowed to choose the dinner, but she was complaining that it was a "stupid" birthday. that's when someone explain to her that once you pass like eight or nine (with the exception of your bar/bat mitzvah) birthdays are just a day when people wish you happy birthday if they remember, and maybe one or two people get you a card.

i would have to disagree. in my house, there is plenty of fanfare when we celebrate birthdays. my father grew up celebrating Hebrew birthdays and my mother grew up celebrating English birthdays. now my parents say they really celebrate Hebrew, but we kind of celebrate both. there are pancakes for breakfast, cards at the table, sometimes even balloons. if the lucky birthday person has a birthday on Shabbos, they don't have to help serve or clear.

on a total side note, i have no clue why family uses the term "having birthday" like my mom will tell us "call Aunt-So-and-So. she has birthday today" it comes from the same place as using the word "Omer" as a verb. ("Did you omer today?")

then of course, there's birthday week. the days in between the English and Hebrew birthdays are definitely sacred. although it's not observed by every members of my birthday, i accept birthday wishes, cards, and gifts all week. this year my English birthday was on Rosh Hashana, and my Hebrew birthday is tonight. i must admit, everyone kind of forgot about my birthday because it was overshadowed by Rosh Hashana, but I've been reminding everyone that tonight's my birthday too. Everyone called me after Rosh Hashana to wish me a happy birthday (including G6), but they actually got two days to remember

as far as my age goes, i am starting to understand adults who lament birthdays as another year passing. not that i see myself as growing old. i like to mark each birthday as another passing year, another year of lessons learned, and memories created with people i love. another year of meeting new people and making new friends. another year of accomplishment and growth

2009-09-22T13:45:00.003-04:00

living with other people can present many different challenges. whether it's working out personal space, coordinating who's going to do laundry, or deciding who gets the car, like any other commitment, it takes an effort to make it work. after lots of observation, I've noticed that the room that generates the most discussion/quarreling, is the bathroom. most of them are not really for public discussion, so passing over the Toilet Seat Tossup and the Shower Drain Deliberation, I'm focusing on the Toothpaste Tube Tiff.

in my opinion, toothpaste tubes are not designed in a way that's economically smart. most tubes get thrown out, still containing about an eighth of toothpaste. it all depends on how you squeeze your toothpaste out. there are four common methods

1. the Squeeze Method: the easiest way to get toothpaste out of the tube, you simply grab the tube and squeeze. this is also the least economical way, because the tube will start to curl in on itself after a number of squeezes, and plenty of toothpaste will get lost in the folds.

2. the Fold-Up Method: user folds up the tube as it's used, pushing all the toothpaste to the top. this doesn't waste any paste, but may cause excess toothpaste to squirt out when you unscrew the cap.

3. the Squeeze-Up Method: not to be confused with the squeeze method, the user squeezes the tube from the end, or bottom, so all the toothpaste ends up near the cap (this is my personal favorite, and a method i employ)

4. the Squeeze-Up-With-Help-Method: for those who are challenged, there are handy dandy tools designed to help you squeeze up the toothpaste. simply place the tool on the tube and push up towards the cap. it squeezes the toothpaste out for you.

although this may not seem significant in anyway, it can turn into a deadly war with disastrous consequences. for those who use Method 2, the mere sight of a tube that has been subjected to Method 1 can be very irritating.

2009-09-20T21:12:00.005-04:00

Holidays.

they're full of tradition.

it's all about the tunes we sing. it's about abandoning the shul we daven in every single week and walking forty five minutes to a shul where everyone wears a white tie. it's about the shir hamaalot that we match with the tune from bircat cohanim. it's about the timeless tunes that have been sung for centuries.

it's all about the foods we eat. aside from the traditional apple-in-honey and fish heads. it's the boiled carrots and raisins that nobody eats, but sits on our table. it's the apples and onions (although in my opinion, the only time fruits and vegetables should be together is in strawberry mango salad) that my great grandmother used to make. it's blending the time-worn traditional foods, with new recipes. although the collection of half-eaten lemon meringues on my dad's plate gave a silent testimony to the popularity of that particular dessert. or lack of.

it's all about the family we spend time with. whether it's the cousins from out of town who join us for meals, the relatives around the corner whom we never see, or even spending time with my siblings (the ones that are home, at least) walking to and from shul, yomim tovim force us to slow down, turn off our phones, take our noses out of our textbooks, and reconnect and form bonds that weaken during the rest of the year as we rush around, each with our own schedules.

it's all about celebrating old traditions, and creating new ones. Customs that my great grandparents practiced in France, Holland, Germany, and Russia, and customs that will be celebrated by my family and handed down to my kids for generations to follow.

2009-09-16T09:51:00.006-04:00

another timeless tradition...building the succah....

we all moan and groan when my father announces that it's time to bring up the boards. they each weigh a lot, and are very heavy and difficult to carry. thankfully this year i escaped that part of the building, and only got home when it was time to put the succah together. i started on one side with sister2, and my dad started on the other side with brother2. officially it wasn't a race, but brother2 seemed to think it was. then sister2 and i realized that the slower we'd work the less boards we'd have to put up. plus, the wrong sized bolt set us back about fifteen minutes. but we ended up meeting in the middle, so there were no complaints of anyone shirking.

the noise we made, banging and shrieking, as we dropped tools in the pool, and almost dropped boards on our toes, and hammered our thumbs, was only rivaled by my neighbors watching a football game next door, and my mother banging pots as she cooked for yom tov.

but beyond setting up the succah, we accomplished much more. the lessons I've learned from setting up the succah will stay with me forever. when Succot comes, and our guests and friends sit in the succah and admire the sturdy walls and decorations, they won't know about the work that went into the building. they won't hear the echoes of us calling to each other, and laughing over silly things.

we've learned all about tools. i know how to correctly use a wrench and a ratchet, but more importantly, I've learned never to use a tool for anything other than its intended purpose. I've learned how to drill holes in boards so they'll line up correctly. I've learned how measure bolts and nuts to make sure they'll all fit in. we've even learned how to fish a ratchet out of a pool, after i dropped it off the porch and fell into the pool area, and slowly rolled into the pool.

we've learned about teamwork, how it takes two people to hold up a board, and if you walk off the deck while the person on the other side is expecting you to hold up the board, that's not teamwork. how if you stand next to the person who's driving in a bolt and you've got the washers and nuts they need, that is teamwork, and the work will go much quicker.

and most importantly, we form bonds. I'm not talking specifically about when sister2 came up on the deck wearing brother1's catcher's mask and scared the living daylights out of sister1 so she went fleeing into the garage. and I'm not talking about when sister1 grabbed my flip flops and threw them into the pool, and then pushed me into the pool, when i went to retrieve them. it's more than that. it's activities like these, when we laugh, yell, and even squabble over silly things that will one day be looked back on fondly, years from now, when we'll turn to each other and recall the Succah Building days.

2009-09-13T10:04:00.002-04:00

it's that time of year again. in a flurry of impersonal text messages and emails, every person I've ever crossed paths with, from camps to schools, and everything else in between, wish everyone they know a shana tovah and beg for forgiveness in the even that they may have inadvertently caused anguish to anyone.

does that really count?

if someone slighted me in the past year, and it was serious enough that i still can remember it now, the offhand text is probably not the best way to ask for forgiveness. and if i haven't been insulted (which is the case for most of my friends) then I'd rather get a phone call, even if it's two seconds. because some things shouldn't be left to texts. yes, even me, a complete text-aholic, who hates having phone conversations, will pick up the phone this week and call friends, just to say hi and wish them a year of happiness and everything good.

and if there's anyone out there whom I've offended with my views or opinions...

2009-09-11T12:31:00.003-04:00

another year has passed since we last commemorated the fall of the Twin Towers. another year, and the pain of the memories has not lessened. the images are still burned in everyone's minds. and family members are still mourning those who were killed just for being Americans, and those who gave up their lives to save others. for the some 2,800 who were killed on September 11th, eight years ago, death came swiftly. for the people who were left behind to pick up the pieces, the pain still lingers. for those who lost friends and spouses, siblings, parents, or children, they must live on everyday, with only a fading memory of their loved one. the terrorists destroyed more than just buildings. they shook the very foundation of America. with the help and support from everyone around them, the victims whose lives were disturbed, were able to rebuild. and today, all hearts go out to them, as they remember the ones they lost, and vow never to forget.

in memory

2009-09-03T11:46:00.010-04:00

everybody likes to personalize. whether it's a fuzzy cover on a steering wheel, a cool ipod skin, or a notebook decorated with a name, it's got to have your name, and your personalization on it. so that's why there's a feature to add a signature to outgoing text messages.

the standard, is to have your name at the bottom. just in case you get a text message from someone who isn't in your phone book, you can look at the name at the bottom. Esti. Chaya. now you know who it was who sent that to you. but then it wasn't enough to just write your name. you have to use as many symbols as you can. S became $, a became @, even i can be replaced with !. sometimes it could take awhile to figure out the name, but if you know the person who is texting you, you should have no problem.

some people like to go a step further, and leave little messages at the bottom of their text: "Have a super day!" or "Smile, it's all for the best!" not that i don't appreciate little inspirational reminders. it's just a funny place to leave them. i have one friend who has such long signatures, that she always has to send her messages in two texts, because it takes up half of her allotted characters. or she leaves, what she thinks are inspirational messages, but to me sound like she got them out of the New Testament.

then there are those who have bizarre or cryptic signatures. sometimes it's a private joke. sometimes it's just a random assortment of letters. sometimes it's a word that's spelled so badly, or missing all the vowels, so you can't understand it. my aunt has a policy that she won't answer any text message unless she understands what the signature is about, but i suspect she only employs that policy when i text her.

although i must admit that i too have been guilty of slightly cryptic signatures, they are usually either Latin phrases (cogito ergo sum,dum spiro spero), or Hogwarts spells (petrificus totalus, coloromuto) but for the most part, i use texts to get a message across, or have a conversation, and i don't really see the big idea in changing your signature everyday, depending on your mood.

2009-09-03T11:26:00.003-04:00

the first week of the semester is always the busiest one. the parking lot is filled to capacity. the halls are crowded with students trying to find their classrooms. the cafeteria makes a killing selling food to the crowds who sit their to do their homework. and even the library becomes full with people sitting in study groups (I'm using the word "study" in the loosest sense possible) and photocopying pages.

there's a big sign at the entrance to the college that proclaims "As of September 1st, smoke free campus" until now, smoking was prohibited with fifty feet of the buildings. now it's been banished to the lower parking lot.

year right. instead of smoking in the usual spot between the buildings, the smokers have retreated to around the back of the buildings, where the Campus Security can't really see them unless they come looking. but the security guards are too busy racing each other on their bikes and galloping around on horses and scaring girls to notice the blatant flaunting of the rules.

as the weeks go by, and it gets colder outside, the crowds around the building will thin out. less people will hang out outside, and the game room in the student union will get more crowded. by the middle of November, the hallways will be less full too, and more parking spots will open up in the accessible lots. by the end of December, right before finals, the college will become a ghost town, as students are either in class, or not bothering to come to class at all. there will be a brief return for finals, and the school will be totally empty, until February when you can hear the same people complaining about their pre-calculus professors, and swearing that this is the LAST time they're taking his class.

this semester

2009-09-02T10:55:00.002-04:00

i will get to bed before 11:30, at least once a week

i will not wait till the night before class to read the assigned chapters

i will bring my NANDA book to my clinicals so i don't have to make up a diagnosis

i will practice deep breathing exercises so i don't have a panic attack before the exams

i will join the student nurse's association, and NOT only because it will look good on my resume

i will write out my index cards after every lesson so i don't get hand cramps when I'm studying for finals

i will write all my care plans in pencil so i don't have to look around frantically at 6:30 am for an extra copy when I've realized that I've spelled something wrong

2009-09-02T00:49:00.003-04:00

everyone's got some level of self-deprecation. some use it as a way to get compliments ("oh i look so ugly today!") others use it to keep themselves humble. i know some people who give themselves a strict talking to everytime they look in the mirror. others look at their mistakes as a way of entertainment. as much as i enjoy hearing about human follies, there is nothing funnier than my own foibles.

which is how i can laugh at what i did the other day. i was searching for my phone, and could not remember where I'd last had it. after looking all over the house, i relaxed, and assumed the elusive spot would come to me. and it did. i remembered placing my phone down on the ledge in the freezer as i scooped out some ice cubes. i flung open the door of the freezer...and sure enough, there was my phone. thankfully, it hadn't been left in long enough to incur damage.

everyone's got a story, whether embarrassing or just funny. some people leave their credit cards in stores and don't remember till two or three days later. some people leave keys in the ignition and then cannot for the life of them remember where they've put them. some people trip over flat surfaces. some even trip going up the stairs! some people make bad spelling errors and don't realize that the words look funny. some people go out with dirty clothing, or chocolate on their faces.

when you realize that you've done something silly, don't be embarrassed! just be thankful that it wasn't your child that you left behind, or a prescription that you filled incorrectly. it's the little flaws in our personalities that make us interesting people, and make up our individuality. imagine a world where everyone was perfect. how boring.

you might call it "spazzed" but i prefer to think of it as "absent-minded-genius"

2009-09-01T09:53:00.006-04:00

I'm not good with malls. i don't love shopping (i know, shocking) but I'll tolerate it. put me in a store and i can shop for a long time. but in a mall, i get so distracted by everything else, that i forget to shop. it's hard to stay focused when i have to stop every thirty feet to explain to the Israeli vendors that just because I'm wearing a skirt, and i can find the Dead Sea on a map, doesn't mean I'm going to pay forty five dollars for an tub the size of a Blistex container, containing minerals that effectively do the same job as a 20 oz. pump of Lubriderm. the problem with the mall i shop in (one of the many problems, actually) is that the stores are placed so that if I'm shopping for shoes, i end up walking about two miles between all the stores. for that, i could go to Woodbury Commons, which, like my dentist's office, is high up on the list of Places That I Hate To Frequent.

it's some kind of sub-law of Murphy's that when you go shopping with a specific item in mind, you come home with something else. i went to buy shoes and i came home with a sweatshirt. but that's nothing. i remember that my mom once went shopping for clothing for myself and sister1 and came home with pants for brother2 and laundry detergent.

i chose a bad time to go shopping for shoes. the stores were packed with everyone buying back to school items. the little-kid-shoe-stores were full of moms and kids and screaming babies of every size and shape, swarming all over the little couches, and climbing the walls. there were kids running out of every store, with frazzled older sisters lunging after them. even DSW looked crowded, which is an amazing feat, because i always feel like everyone is miles and miles away from each other, lost between endless rows of shoes. i actually banged into sister2 (almost literally), which was providential, because i was supposed to be giving her a ride home, but had no way to reach her. i think my mom gave her about ten dollars in quarters and told her to use a payphone. i didn't even know they had those things anymore.

when i had exhausted all the shoe stores, i went into the Apple store, and looked longingly at all the items i couldn't afford to buy. I'm a closet Mac lover (well, not anymore) but i could never justify spending so much money for a laptop, even if it does come with a free itouch. but once i was there, i checked my email to make sure i hadn't missed out on anything earth shattering in the three hours that i was away from my computer. (i hadn't)

after that, there wasn't much else to do. sister1 has the talent of being able to spend hours in a mall, without shopping for a single item. i don't really know how she does it. first she spends a half hour in Sephora putting on makeup. then she goes to Starbucks to look at all the lattes and cappuccinos. after that, she goes to the Apple store, so she can point to the itouch and tell me that she "owns one of those". when I'm just about ready to strangle her, she whisks away to the Body Shop to smell all the hand lotions and soaps. after awhile, the fumes start to overwhelm me and i can no longer differentiate between Mandarin and Mango. one day I'm going to buy her a pair of blinders.

but i was by myself yesterday, so the shopping trip wasn't nearly as painful as i thought it would be.

2009-08-24T23:37:00.004-04:00

serenity has been surrendered.

the children are back. they descended on the house in two parts. my mom picked the boys up, and i got sister2 from the bus. first they came, crashing through the screen doors, shouting out a greeting in their hoarse voices. then came the trunks, suitcases, and duffel bags, banging up the stairs, ruining the fresh coat of paint that was applied, only last week. trailing behind them, came the clothing that didn't fit into the suitcases, the extra oreos, the socks that didn't seem to belong to anyone in the house, and some other objects that were covered in too much dirt and mold to be identified. and lastly, came the lingering odor of camp. the smell of rotting wood, the damp scent of the outdoors, and the general aura of summer.

when my mom opened brother2's suitcase, a different kind of smell came out-the odor of boys clothing. clothing that's been worn and not washed. needless to say i skedaddled before i could get roped in to handling any of that stuff.

another way to tell that things are slowly getting back to a schedule-we are having suppers again. now this is NOT a slight against my mother. sister1 and i kind of requested the no-supper thing, so we would also feel like we were on vacation. tonight, the chore of making dinner fell on me. and that was when i made the discover that i do not like cooking. i don't mind baking-maybe I'd even say i enjoy it. but the cooking thing is not for me. i nearly had a nervous breakdown over the meatballs (for full details, see my aunt), although in the end, they did come out pretty good.

so as the laundry pile is slowly diminishing (although i can still hear the washing machine banging) and all the mattresses get returned to the proper room, and a collection of half-empty soap and shampoo bottles gathers in the corner of the shower, i must concede, that although it is yet another sign that the summer is ending, I'm glad that they're home.

2009-08-21T00:57:00.003-04:00

i feel like the summer is slipping away.

I've finally started to do all the thing I've been wanting to do since May. i went to Six Flags on Monday with a friend. i learned a few things that day. the first lesson, is that when you choose a partner to take with you to amusement parks, you should look for someone who not only enjoys the same roller coasters as you, but is easy to talk to. because when you go to amusement parks you end up spending a lot of time hanging around as you wait to get onto rides.and secondly, a two hour wait does not justify a double ride on a coaster. one of the rides broke down just as we got to the front of the ride and were actually sitting in the car. since we'd waited an hour (the ride broke down once while we were waiting too) we decided to stick it out until it would be fixed. they finally did fix it-after two hours. to reward those of us who'd stuck it out, they let us ride twice. but in those two hours we could have gone on three other rides. but then again, the coaster was then closed for the day, which means we wouldn't have had a chance to ride it.

i love roller coasters. i love that thrill that comes with swooping down, and looping over. i love that rush that i feel as the car is ascending the lift, and my heart starts pounding and my palms get all sweaty. i love that slightly dizzy feeling i get when i climb out and take a second to regain my balance and bearings. i do NOT love roller coasters that were built for statistics. which means i am less than fond of Kingda Ka. apparently all the techs in the park hate it too. they are pretty much all of the opinion that it should be torn down. it's very hard to catch a ride on it, because it is closed down more often than it is operating. i had a chance to ride it two years ago, and I'm never going to do it again, if i can help it.

on Tuesday i took a train ride with my aunts and cousins, to New Jersey, where we had a picnic. did you know that the New Jersey Transit conductors still wear those dorky looking hats? and they still yell "All aboard!" before the train leaves. although that could have just been done for effect. but by far the coolest thing about the train is that the seats flip back and forth, so that no matter which way the train is going, you can always face forward, a nice little thing for those of us who get nauseous when we face the wrong way.

today i sat out in the sun for four hours. it was partly cloudy, so i didn't feel like i was roasting. the pool was peaceful looking, and blue. it's been more like a shade of Mountain Dew for the past few weeks, because the pool vacuum broke. as a result of this, my father raised the chlorine levels of the water, making me feel like i was taking a swim in a Clorox bottle. today was the first day that the water was back to normal. so i sat out until my face rivaled that of a tomato. when i went out to eat tonight, my face matched the walls of the restaurant, and my bag.

despite all the activities I'm doing, books I'm reading, and people I'm spending time with, there are little reminders all over, that are hinting to the coming of September.

the leaves are starting to fall with increasing speed. no matter how often i sweep the deck and fish them out of the pool with a net, within twenty minutes, they cover the ground again. and as the days march on, the colors start changing from green, to yellow, with brown edges.

the camps are all finishing. brother1, sister2, and brother2 will be home on Monday, and the house will soon get back into its noisy pace that I'm (actually) beginning to miss.

everyone's talking about going back to school. the aunts sit at the pool discussing the annual trip to the shoe store, the signs in all the store windows proclaiming The-Big-Back-To-School-Savings-Sales, and there has been a flurry of textbook-borrowing, as every girl who is planning on procuring a science degree scrambles to find a chemistry and anatomy textbook.

the crowds in the pizza stores and bowling alleys are starting to slowly thin out as the male half the teen population are the first to make their way back to yeshiva. in my family, cousin1 has returned to Israel, with cousin2 to follow shortly on Sunday.

I'm going to make the most of my last two weeks of vacationing, by spending more time at the pool, and less time in front of my computer. more time talking to people in front of me, and less time texting people sitting twenty feet away. i will take more trips and have more barbecues. i will not worry about the textbooks that are waiting to be opened, and my uniform which is sitting in the closet, waiting to be ironed. the only effort I've made towards starting to think about school, was to move my stethoscope from around my headboard, to around my rear view mirror, so i think about it every time i get in the car.

but it's coming faster than I'd like to think. next thing i know, I'll see school buses on the road again, and then I'll wake up 21, and then I'll have to take out my boots and sweatshirts...

2009-08-11T00:42:00.006-04:00

the story of the lake is everlasting.

there's a beach up north that we go to, every summer. in reality, the lake water is far from pretty, and the sand doesn't feel especially warm between the toes. but it's become a family tradition to go there and nowhere else. in that vicinity there is another lake which is slightly prettier and has warmer sand. but the only time we went there, it was raining, and sister1 broke her hand. so that place will forever have negative associations. so we continue to go to "our lake" as we've come to think of it.

today, we continued the tradition, by packing up the vans with food, chairs, sunblock, blankets, towels, the umbrella, and headed up.

some things have changed over the years. instead of having to leave the beach to eat, we can now eat on the beach, as long as we don't leave too much garbage. the kids who once sat in playpens now swim out all the way to the rope. the old football blanket has been upgraded to a Neat Sheet. and the umbrella which always seemed huge to me, now barely has enough room for three of us to cram our chairs into its shade without bumping knees.

but some things have stayed the same. my out-of-town aunt's youngest child was wearing the "born to be wild" t-shirt". my other aunt's youngest child wore a flowered bucket hat. the kids played in the sand, creating the usual, sandcastles, forts, tunnels, and mud puddles, and still love to play that game where they go all the way back to the wall, hold hands, and charge into the water, splashing and laughing, until they all collapse on top of each other.

since i don't relish the idea of swimming in clothing, i stayed under the umbrella with cousin L who doesn't really like the beach, and missed her sister E (who's in camp) who usually builds sandcastles with her. she hung out with me and the aunts while we painted our toes, and chatted on the phone, and ran in after M who is 2 years old but doesn't have a fear of water, something that is really cute in the pool, but really scary at a lake.

the big excitement of the day was when the lifeguard saw S bobbing up and down on his toes, and thinking he was drowning (even though the child's mother told the lifeguard he was fine) ran in to rescue him. (for a detailed imitation of the lifeguard, including his whistle-string-spinning-abilities, see cousin L) but this display of heroic rescue showed that the lifeguard was vigilant in watching the lake.

we came home, tired, sweaty and full of sand. everyone got dutifully hosed down before entering the pool, and shook the last vestiges of sand out of the bags. it was a great day, one more experience to add to the tradition of Lake T Day (ole, ole)

2009-08-09T19:16:00.002-04:00

looking back on visiting day, it was everything i said it would be.

and worse.

for starters, the weather was totally uncooperative. it was either raining or misting, so i had to walk around with a sweatshirt hood over my head the whole time. i got to see brother2, check out his bunk, make sure he's been washing (there was no growth on his hands and face, so he's either been swimming or showering), check out his bunk which was neat (read: Sunday morning activity-refold clothing in shelves, make beds, and sweep all garbage out of the bunkhouse) with the assortment of relatives in camp, we had a lot of people to visit, campers and staff alike. this year we sat in the regular dining room (instead of the staff dining room, a privilege that comes with being related to the head of a program in camp) with my mother's siblings, and ate lunch.

after wandering around in the rain, and checking out the spot where my brother checks his voicemail, and where he picks up his faxes, and where he buys his soda, and where he picks up his laundry... (visiting a first time camper, my parents had to do a very thorough visit) we drove to the other side of the world (or so it felt) to visit my sister in her camp. there we met up with both of my uncles at various points, sloshed through the mud and waded through the weeds to see the dilapidated pile of boards that sister2 has been calling home for the past two weeks. having gone to that camp, i was familiar with the graffiti covering every square inch of wall and ceiling, the lack of springs in the bed, and the familiar creak of the floorboards. but sister2 is having fun, so that's what's important.

in general, car rides are not my idea of a fun way to spend quality time with anyone. i get carsick easily, and sister1 is always cold. brother1 likes his music loud-not a good combination, as you can imagine. because the two younger ones weren't present, we weren't subjected to a battle of the ABC game. sister1 decided that she would play "call-out-anything-you-see" but that deteriorated when brother1 started calling "blade of grass, blade of grass, blade of grass..."

the ride back was slightly more subdued as we all were exhausted, hungry, freezing, and sick of traffic. we left the camp at about four pm. a ride that should have taken an hour and change, took almost three. every single bathroom and rest stop in Ferndale, Liberty, Narrowsburg, Monticello, and swan lake, were packed with minivans.

again, I'm not sorry i went to see my siblings. they're both having a great time, and I'm glad for that. it was nice to see all my cousins (though i could have just seen them at home.) and my uncle didn't even yell at me (which is a surprise). but Visiting Day just makes me happy that i only have to "celebrate" it once a year.

2009-08-09T01:44:00.002-04:00

i did not celebrate Visiting Day in July. brother2 was in camp, but he explicitly told all of us to stay far away from his camp. and we were more than happy to oblige. at least, i know i was. the idea of battling crazy traffic to go slosh around decrepit camp, fight crowds wherever you go, and then sit in more traffic on the way back, just doesn't seem like a pleasant way to spend a Sunday. i spent first half visiting day chilling at the pool. way more productive, if you ask me.

but nobody's asked me. and that's why we're going to the mountains tomorrow to visit sister2 and brother2. i considered staying at home, but then I'd get tagged with the label of always being antisocial and skipping out on family events. plus, i have assorted cousins that are also in the same camps as my siblings, so we're all supposed to be getting together, or meeting up, or something.

don't get me wrong. it's not that i don't want to see my siblings. the house has been pretty quiet without them. it's just that i saw them both a week ago when they came home for the bar mitzvah, and I'm going to see them in another two weeks when they come home. and in my family, we're quite healthy about separation and not seeing each other for bits at a time

and one final reason to hate Visiting Day; a few hours in the car with sister1 and brother1-a constant battle of wits. my brain will exhausted by tomorrow's end.

2009-08-02T11:27:00.002-04:00

when my mother gets nervous, or stressed about things, she talks. in a steady stream of instructions, last minute-to-do-lists, and reminders. she's been talking since Wednesday. but thanks to her, my brother's bar mitzvah was really gorgeous.

when rehashing the weekend last night, we realized that there was nothing major that had been forgotten-no food had not been served (although we were missing a pan of chicken which never did surface. but we were left with an extra pan of fish. so someone else out there who made an affair this weekend probably had too much chicken and not enough fish), no invitations were inadvertently left out, or got lost in the mail (according to two of my neighbors, there was a mail-thief sneaking letters out of people's mailboxes), all of the guests made it, with the exception of my dad's friend (who was on his way from Boston and had to turn around because of traffic), and i only got hit over the head once by my uncles.

last night, with the help of my mom's sisters, we managed to get everything out of the shul, and into our car. it's going to take awhile, but we will recover from this.

does anyone like egg salad? cuz we've got pans and pans of it leftover.

2009-07-26T23:32:00.004-04:00

i can't believe the summer is halfway over already. there are so many things that i planned to do, and have not yet had a chance.

i was supposed to go camping with my dad and sister2 (sister1 is not much for outdoor things) but we never got a tent, and every Sunday evening something else seemed to happen. now she's in camp, and when she gets back, I'm starting school and it's going to be too cold.

i was supposed to be nice and tanned by the end of the summer. not a crazy leathery-wrinkled-sun-damaged-tan, but a nice healthy glow. but despite some good kick off burns, my skin has remained pitifully white. then again, I've been comparing it to cousin3, The Brown Cousin. i think she secretly goes to a tanning salon. (i wonder if her mother knows)

i was supposed to go boating-not row boating around a little lake, but rent a speedboat and spend the day out on the water. then i looked online at prices, and i don't have enough money for it. and my friends were not so impressed with the idea. one doesn't live locally and Sundays never seem to work out for her. one is interning in the DA's office, and only seems to have off on days when it's cloudy. one friend doesn't like water activities. one friend won't do anything that would make her hair knotty.

i was supposed to go the beach very often. so far i went once. it was with my interning friend, so of course it was cloudy. it was also before the beach was officially open so we couldn't go into the water. the second my big toe came near the shoreline, the park official came zooming up in a cloud of exhaust and told us to move back. so we sat on the beach and ate tuna sandwiches. i tell you, eating on the beach gives a whole new meaning to the word sandwich. yuk.

i was supposed to go see a Broadway show with my friend. at least i can still do that after the summer's over, but it's going to be a lot harder once we're both back in school-mode.

i was supposed to spend an evening catching fireflies. this is one activity i hope i never outgrow. of course now i do it in the privacy of my backyard where nobody can see me. there's nothing like running around after glowing little bugs, trying to catch them. don't worry, i don't keep them, i let them go.

i know i still have another month left to the summer, but I'm going away for august, and when i come back, there won't be any summer left.

2009-07-26T09:10:00.002-04:00

do twelve-year old boys get pre-bar mitzvah jitters?

i don't think brother2 has them. he's been practicing his parsha, ad nauseum. i can probably recite till the second or third aliyah with minimal prompting. but sister2 can go all the way up to the fourth.

his only problem is that he reads it way to quickly. he takes a deep breath....and zooms off so fast you're left standing in the dust.

yesterday, my dad made him practice reading his speech at the table.

it was a disaster.

he was reading it so quickly, i couldn't discern the hebrew words from the english. it was all a big blur of "rambam" and "karbanos" my dad made him start over at least five or six times, until we all knew the opening lines by heart. then sister2 and brother1 started laughing, which sent brother2 into the corner to keep control from laughing himself. I'm telling you, the slightest thing can set this kid off. he's a regular drama king. must take after his oldest sister. then my dad had us all take turns to show brother1 how it's done. that didn't work so well either. brother2 added his own yeshivish words, so nobody was able to understand him.

i don't know when he's going to get more practice, i think he's going up to camp tomorrow or Tuesday. and i hardly think he'll actually take along his speech to practice. although, maybe if i have it laminated he'll practice in the shower.

but anyone reading this who will be present this week, either for torah reading or his speech recital, beware. if you're hoping it'll be quick, it will be. you might just not understand a word of it.

2009-07-24T00:58:00.004-04:00

a wise woman once told me that you can figure out what's going on in someone's life by monitoring their stress levels.

if this was indeed true, you'd be able to figure out that something big is happening in my house.

next shabbos is brother2's bar mitzvah.

as if that were not crazy enough, my mom was trying to wash everyone's laundry before the nine days, pack sister2 and brother2 up for camp, and brother1 decided to come home in between first half and second half. add to that the fact that cousin3 is staying at our house for July, and my parents are actively trying to marry off two daughters, and i bet any Stress-O-Meter would be off the scale right now.

my mother's been on the phone with the caterer, anyone who owns centerpieces, my cousin who's a party planner, and all the relatives from Israel to Texas, Michigan to California. of course, not all of them are coming, but enough to warrant wholly another round of phone calls-to acquire housing for all assorted relatives. in this, we are lucky, because a lot of relatives have other relatives or close friends who they can stay at. my mom's sister1 and sister2 are staying at cousins who live nearby, and her brother2 and sister3 have good friends at which they will stay.

my dad's got his fair share of the stress as well. he's got to deal with all the fun things, like speeches, aliyot, speeches, davening, speeches, brother2's hat, invitations, speeches, programing...(I'm hoping he'll get the hint and keep the number of speeches at a minimum-if i fall asleep in my soup I'll ruin my makeup) and he's gotta work things out with a neighbor who is making an aufruf the same weekend, and will be splitting davening, aliyot, and the kiddush.

in addition, various friends, neighbors, and relatives are constantly calling in to offer their support, whether in the form of verbal encouragement, or offers to bake.

i don't know which part I'm more excited about; seeing brother2 finally "become a man", catchingup with relatives, or listening to kriat hatorah and the knowledge that i will not have to listen to brother practicing it over and over, at the top of his lungs.

but then again, if it means he'll go back to practicing "We Will Rock You" on his trumpet, i think I'd prefer leining.

2009-07-21T10:27:00.002-04:00

i hate playing the waiting game

i took my microbiology practical yesterday, and now I'm waiting for my grade.

and the suspense is killing me.

my classmates told me I'm too nervous for someone of my age, but i can't help it. testing conditions just make me really nervous. i can't sit and study with everyone, and i can't stand around afterwards and listen to the professor announce all the correct answers. for one thing, i never remember exactly which answer i wrote for which question. and furthermore, what good will it do me to know that i may have possibly answered five questions incorrectly? I'll just stress about what my grade may be. no, I'd rather wait a week to hear from my professor.

so I'm stalking in my inbox.

my aunt says i need a blackberry.

i just want to know that the hours i spent memorizing various antibiotic agents and biochemical charts weren't for naught.

2009-07-19T15:58:00.004-04:00

every time i travel to anywhere in New York City, i find it strangely fascinating all over again.

as usual, my day began with an attempt to parallel park. always an amusing feat to observe, this time i managed to get in with minimal maneuvering. i had fit in a very tight spot, and prayed that by the time I'd get back, the monster SUV behind me would be replaced by a smaller car. i found the crook lock, but had no clue where the key was, so i didn't bother with that. i had texted someone for directions, but i was underground by the time i got them, so i had to manage on my own, and wonder of wonders, i figured out which train to take.

the subway was very full, and i sat in the corner, squashed between a couple returning home after a long weekend (they had three huge suitcases with them) and a young woman with her loudly babbling baby. and then, to add to the din, a fellow got on the train and started singing Amazing Grace at the top of his lungs. through all this, i was trying to concentrate on my book, because i really need to finish it and return it to the library, but i only ended up reading about two paragraphs.

when i got to the park, i realized that i had no clue where in the park i was supposed to meet my friend. the park spans about 50 blocks, and there are two maps in the whole place. after twenty minutes, i found the first one. i spotted exactly where i wanted to go-but i couldn't find the You Are Here sticker. i didn't want to turn to the woman next to me and ask her "excuse me, but can you tell me where i am?" so i waited until no one was around, and i ran my fingers over the entire map until i felt the sticker. once i found the correct path, it was only a little more wandering until i met up with my friend.

the rest of that adventure was uneventful, and i had no problem locating the correct subway to get home. the A train was packed to capacity. think the number 2 bus on the way back from the Kotel, Friday afternoon. i spent my way back squashed between a man with a diamond nose stud complain that he payed an extra 25 cents, only to have to suffer through the train making only local stops, and a girl telling her friend that she was creating a design of the how the universe runs, to get tattooed on her entire back. and people thought i was weird for wearing a skirt.

by the time i got back to my car, there was a smaller car behind it, and i was able to get out without hitting anything or anyone.

2009-07-15T18:14:00.003-04:00

i am astounded at how hard it is to get people to commit. and I'm equally amazed at their inabilities to come up with smart-sounding excuses. in general, the incompetence in the world amuses me, yet at the same time, frightens me. i was on the phone with a customer representative who was supposed to be mailing me software that i needed. i spelled out my name VERY clearly, making sure she had each letter correct. and she still mangled the spelling of my name.

i volunteer at a program for teenage girls every Thursday night. a friend of mine is in charge of making sure it runs smoothly, and to ensure that there are mentors there every week. for the month of July she is away, and asked me to make sure that the program still runs. since I'm taking summer classes, i knew I'd be home all July, so i agreed to do it.

i never realized how hard that seemingly easy task would be.

on Monday night, i texted everyone, to see who'd be available (there is a limited number of mentors, because half of them are in camp, and the other half are on vacation)

i got a dozen excuses, and not one confirmation

"sorry I'm going to be out of town" (if it's true, that's a legitimate excuse)

"my sister is coming from Israel" (and therefore...? you have to be there when she walks in the door? chances are, she's going to be jet lagged and only wanting one thing-sleep. and if she's in from Israel, it's safe to assume that she's going to be around for more than one night!)

"I'm not feeling very well" (hello, it's MONDAY! when someone knows they'll be sick long-term, they call it being sick. when someone tells you on Monday that they're not feeling well and can't come on Thursday, you know they're fishing for an excuse. that's like telling someone in advance that you can't come to a party they are making the next week because you won't be in the mood)

"um, it's too early in the week to commit" (really, why are people so hesitant to commit to things? it's only two hours! the problem with these people is that when i call them back on Wednesday, they made plans for Thursday night! hello, don't tell me you'll be available if Monday and Tuesday are too early and Wednesday is too late! there is no day between Tuesday and Wednesday!)

but seriously, why do people have such reluctance to give up time-for anything, really? what, they're worried that last minute something more appealing will come up? if that's the reason, it's like saying "i don't really want to help you out/babysit/hang out with you, but i have nothing better to do, so i guess I'll do it"

that really makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

2009-07-13T11:12:00.005-04:00

anyone who has ever read a book of Peanuts comic strips, is aware of the ongoing saga of Charlie Brown and Lucy. and every family has a similar story. no, I'm not talking about the spring in the bed at my grandparents' house. I'm talking about sister2 and brother2 playing the alphabet game in the car.

for anyone who is not familiar with the game, it is designed to keep siblings from tearing each other apart on long car drives. the object of the game is to look for the letters of the alphabet, consecutively, on billboards and license plates. the first person to reach Z wins. sister2 has sharp eyes and is very quick, usually making her the winner. i never liked the game, because i always get nauseous when i play, and i don't get the fun in looking for letters, but for brother2, the game is even less fun, because as he's still searching for H, sister2 is usually up to R. one of the rules is that you have to call out the letters as you see them, and it's very frustrating to know you're ten letters behind. so by now, you'd think that brother2 would give up and stop playing. but no, he's the one who suggests the game in the first place! every single time we get in the car! it usually goes something like this:

brother2: let's play the alphabet game

sister2: OK, A, B, C....D, E

brother2: WAIT!! i didn't say go yet! go! A, B

sister2: F, G

brother2: YOU'RE SUCH A CHEATER! F, G

sister2: hello, you're only up to C! you're cheating! H, I, J...

(it amazes me that she can keep track of not only what she's up to, but what he's up to as well)

brother2: J!

sister2: there's no way you saw that J! i only called it out after we passed the sign!

this game can go on for about twenty or thirty minutes until of a few things happen

1. the driver can't drive with all the yelling going on, and puts and end to the game

2. sister2 has had enough verbal abuse, and retreats to play the game by herself

3. brother2 finally realizes that he'll never win, and gives up

actually, #3 hasn't ever happened yet, but I'm waiting for it to happen. although i don't think I'll hold my breath.

2009-06-24T18:12:00.005-04:00

i never learn

i keep leaving my windows open, and it keeps raining. last week, someone used my car and left the windows open over Shabbos. by Sunday morning, the front seats were thoroughly soaked, and water had collected in every indentation in the front of the car. it took three days, but the seats finally dried up.

and then the car started smelling. it always had a funky-old-car smell, but now it's accompanied by a very strong moldy smell, like an animal that has been left out in the rain for a week, then tied up in a plastic bag and placed in a very small, stuffy closet.

the smell is almost unbearable.

so every time i get in the car, i open all the windows. and it seems like i keep forgetting to close the windows. whenever i get back to my car, there's always one window that's been left open-not very wide, just about 3 inches-enough for the seat to soak up some more water. and with this erratic weather, it keeps raining, on and off-not very much, just for a few minutes at a time-enough for the car to retain water and smell again.

2009-06-16T00:31:00.006-04:00

It's graduation season once again. this year, i had five graduations to go to; brother 2, cousin 2, cousin 6, cousin 7, and cousin 8. i missed brother 2's graduation because i had class (and he insisted that girls were very specifically not invited.) I'm going to miss cousin 2's because i have class-why does everyone feel the need to graduate on Mondays?

cousins 6, 7, and 8 are all graduating from elementary school. one was on the same night as brother2 (i had class), one doesn't live in New York, and one graduated on a night that was actually convenient for me, so i attended. to be honest, i don't know the specific age of all my cousins, so i don't know which cousin is number 6, which is 7, and which is 8. (if anyone can clarify this for me, please do so)

so the cousin who's graduation i missed because i had class, attended the same school as myself, sister 1, sister 2, and cousin 4. I've attended enough of them to know that i wasn't really missing anything. they're notoriously long and boring. but my aunt made a cool party afterward. everything, with the exception of the kosher candy, came from Costco.

the cousin who graduated from an out of town school told my mother that her graduation wasn't anything much. in their school, they rent a hall or something for the high school graduation, and the elementary school graduates at the same time. i have no clue why they do this. of course, i could have misunderstood something when my mother was telling me this. I'm pretty good at misunderstanding things. i do that quite often.

the cousin who's graduation i attended was salutatorian. indeed, he did salute everyone; his parents, his fellow graduates, and his teachers. his speech was just the way i like speeches-short, and slightly humorous, but not too humorous. i think my uncle may have had something to do with his speech, but I'm all for parents writing speeches for kids if it means the speech is tolerable. the rest of the ceremony was short, yet boring (quite an accomplishment-i wonder if the institution is proud of themselves) i didn't have the option of ducking out under the pretext of davening mincha or maariv like my dad and uncles did. the other highlight of the evening was when my cousin went up to get his diploma. i think he got the loudest cheers of all the graduates. then again, his family was like 40% of the people sitting in the audience. but the best part of the evening was the after party.

i went to all the graduation parties so far this year-even those celebrating graduations i did not attend. this particular party was a rocking, Thursday-night-cholent-kishka-and-kugel party. with pickles and chips and dip and salads and candies and cookies. it was very cool. not that I'm a big cholent person. i usually only eat it on Shabbos, but i thought this was the best graduation party I've ever been to.

brother2's barbecue party is supposed to be tomorrow, but it's been raining for the past month, so the chances of strong sunshine tomorrow are very dismal. i wonder if we're going to get a refund for this weather. like will the summer extend through September to October?

even i do stupid things...

2009-06-15T17:42:00.002-04:00

last week's assignment in microbiology was to create a slide of Staphylococcus aureus, do a simple staining, and then look at it under a microscope.

i created the slide-making sure to play with as much fire as possible, without making my professor nervous-we're only supposed to use the Bunsen burners to sterilize our inoculating tools and test tubes, but when my professor's not looking i burn little pieces of paper. I'm a thrill-seeker like that.

so i created the slide, stained it, and placed it under the microscope to look at it. but the slide was blurry and very unclear. when my professor looked at it she said "It's not you, it's the microscope. they're really lousy"

as i removed my slide from the microscope, ready to throw it out, i noticed that the letters I'd written on the slide to label it, were backwards...

...yup, I'd put the slide on the stage, upside down

2009-06-11T10:30:00.006-04:00

i have no clue what's going on with this weather. it seems like early or mid spring weather, not June. the ironic thing is that two months ago everyone was lamenting the weather-that it was too hot. now everyone's complaining that it rains too much.

so out come sweatshirts with hoods. but somehow they don't protect my hair from the little Frizz Fairies, who manage to find me the second i step out of my house. i know that somewhere in the recesses of my closet are a bunch of umbrellas, but i can never seem to find them when it's raining out.

today's choice of umbrellas was a red white and blue umbrella that didn't open, or a gigantic black one with broken spikes. so i fixed the black one and took it.

using an umbrella is not an easy feat. especially when juggling a huge bag, a computer, a coffee, and my notes. getting out of the house was not so hard, but getting into the car gave me problems. i opened the side door, threw all my things in, and then tried to get in on the driver side. i had to open the door, and in one motion, slide into the car, close the umbrella and slide it in with me without poking myself in the eye or getting water everywhere. the problem is that if i close the umbrella too soon, i get soaked. and if i wait till I'm all in the car the umbrella gets stuck and won't fold.

but i managed somehow, and my umbrella was safe until i got to school and attempted to open it. i have the same problem getting out of the car. in one fluid motion i had to stick the umbrella out of the car, open it, and slip out underneath it. but when i opened the umbrella, it gave a loud "WHOOMP!" and the whole thing blew out. y'know in cartoons when a character is holding an umbrella in the rain, it blows the other way? that's what happened to me. i almost laughed out loud at myself, but i could feel my hair getting curlier by the second, and i knew there was no time for laughing. so i folded the umbrella back and tried again. thankfully it opened correctly. but by this time i was wet and late for class so i grabbed my stuff and ran. i felt Mary Poppin-like, with my massive black umbrella bobbing up and down. i don't know how she manages to look graceful with that thing, i can barely maneuver it, open or closed.

i managed to get to and from school without taking anyone's eye out, which was a pretty big accomplishment. later that day i was doing some stuff around the pool with sister2. it wasn't rainy, but the sky looked like it could start raining any second. so i had my umbrella with me. it's hard to walk under decks and go through gates with an umbrella of that size, but i didn't want to get stuck without an umbrella. i felt so much like Mary Poppins that i tried dancing around the pool with it, singing "Step In Time" and "Sister Suffragette"

although i felt more like sister1 than Marry Poppins. she (sister1) likes to turn an ordinary space, like the top of a car, or the street under a streetlamp into a stage.

2009-06-07T23:12:00.005-04:00

i wonder if anyone else has the same luck as me when it comes to headphones. it seems like I'm always buying new ones. since the days of Walkmans, i was always looking for that perfect pair that would cost enough to ensure that it was actually a working pair, but not too much that I'd be wasting money, because inevitably they got stepped, crushed, left on a bus somewhere, or thrown out. even once i bought my ipod i was still cursed to continue hunting for headphones forever. the apple headphones are not very comfortable, especially when you go to sleep wearing them. i had to hide them from the pillaging hands of brother2 who never seemed to be able to hang onto his own headphones-I'm going to interject a completely different thought here; don't all ipods come with the cord to connect it to a computer? so why does mine always disappear, only to reappear in a different room in the house, connected to a strange ipod? and why does my wall docker never come back attached to the cord?-then my friend stepped on my headphones, and felt really bad about it (they were on floor because when she "returned" them, she missed my bed as she tossed them) so she gave me hers which were only slightly broken. that means that both earbuds were working, but the left one was hanging together by a single wire. after about a year, the left earbud stopped working, and i slept with only one piece in my ear.

then i finally broke down and bought new headphones. the college bookstore had a pair for eleven dollars, which falls out slightly above my headphone price range, but the guy who worked there swore they were good. but then again, all he knows is that he has to sell everything behind the counter, so he probably wasn't such a great judge of quantity.

anyway, these headphones are great. they're comfortable and provide great sound quality. except one morning i woke up to find the black rubber piece that goes on the end of the earbud was missing. i looked all over for it and it was gone. so i asked sister1 if i could look around in her headphones graveyard to find a spare part. she hates to throw anything out, and this extends to non-working headphones. I'm not exactly sure what the purpose of saving them is. maybe she's waiting for The Second Coming of Headphones or something. in any event, I'm glad she saves everything, because i found a black rubber piece that fit over my headphones. it's a little too loose and it falls off quite often, but i always seem to manage to find it. it's uncanny. if i wake up in the morning and it's not on the headphones, i know it's somewhere under my pillow. if i take my ipod out of my bag and it's not attached, i know it's somewhere in my bag (although it will take me a good fifteen minutes to find it because my bag is huge). if all else fails, i check the floor of my car and it somehow shows up there too. yesterday I'd thought I'd lost it for real and then sister1 told me she'd found it and stuck it in my bag.

so far, it looks like I've found The One. the Perfect Pair. but I'm holding my breath.

just another sunday...

2009-06-07T21:38:00.007-04:00

I've made my feelings about Sundays known. and June Sundays are the best. every one's either finished with school or up to finals, and no one's left for various summer jobs yet. i spent an hour sitting out in the sun with my favorite friends; a book and my ipod. (my phone isn't considered a friend because it's a part of me) and this time i even remembered to put on sun block! but I'm on my way to acquiring a nice tan, to compensate for last summer when i worked two office jobs and finished off the summer looking as though I'd spent the entire month of August in an office.

my dad asked me to go to NJ with him to pick up a tool chest he had bought-New Jersey, the armpit of the United States, but still good enough for me to get my gas-i agreed to go with him. i thought it would be a simple trek to NJ, and then home again, where i could continue my conversation with the sun. but i didn't realize that the tool chest had to be put together. meaning, it had to be unloaded and unscrewed, a section of the shelf had to be sawed out, and the entire monster had to be rescrewed together, and the shelves had to be loaded in. of course the only fun part was sawing away at the shelf. and of course that was the only part that my dad wouldn't let me do.

men have funny ideas when it comes to girls and power tools. they'll trust you with their kids, their houses, and their cars. but ask them for a saw, and all of a sudden you're not responsible enough, mature enough, your fingers are too short, your hair is too long...the other thing they won't let you do is play sports. my uncle is vehemently opposed to girls participating in sports. this, as I've said before, is thanks to sister 1, who missed an easy catch because she was "fixing her hair" over the years she's insisted that she's really gotten better at sports. well, i was starting to believe her, until i watched her play basketball today. unfortunately she extracted a promise from me, not to post the videos anywhere.

we are redoing our floors, so we've moved in by my mom's parents, who were away until today, which meant visits from uncle1 & co and aunt2 & co. i feel like I'm having one big sleepover because I'm sharing a room with sister1 and sister2. lots of fun, but kind of difficult when some of us have finals, some have summer class, and some work. thankfully it's been a long day, so the early sleepers have not yet retired, and the late sleepers are tired, so will probably go in soon. but i have to get off my computer now. sister1 shut the light and i can feel sister2 glaring at me from across the room because I'm making too much noise.

it's just as well. tomorrow is Monday, and I'm starting microbiology. six hour class. I'll definitely need any sleep i can get.

2009-06-02T16:41:00.003-04:00

why does orange juice taste better when drank directly out of the carton? i know it's gross habit, and something that a lady should never do, but if you've never done it, you wouldn't know that drinking out of a cup spoils the taste. there's something about drinking it straight from the container that really maximizes the taste of freshly squeezed oranges. of course i always drink from a cup. and i sincerely hope that all the member of my family do the same. although if they don't, I'm not sure i want to know.

so i bet you're wondering how i know what it tastes like. ever lived in dorm? or a bungalow with lots of other people who aren't related to you? i did it for four summers in a bungalow colony and then a year in seminary. public fridges are one of the worst thing ever. you can label your milk, orange juice, water, cereal, twizzlers, but people are bound to 'not see' your name on it, or even worse, use it anyway. the only solution is to make sure everyone sees you drinking straight out of your carton, and then suddenly your food supply doesn't mysteriously dwindle. it might be gross, but it works. and i know you're all agreeing with me, or secretly deciding that you're going to have to give it a try.

2009-06-02T08:17:00.007-04:00

first day of summer class...

as i struggled to open my eyes at an ungodly hour for the month of June, i tried to recall what was going through my mind when i registered for a class that would require me to be up so early.

i tripped my way up two flights of stairs (yes, I'm one of those people who trips up stairs) and sank down into a chair, only to be told by a faculty member from across the hall, that they moved the class to a room one floor down because the elevator doesn't work and the professor has a hard time walking up steps. that doesn't sound very good. the only thing worse than a professor who's wet behind the ears, is one who is old and hard to understand. oh well, I'm taking this class to transfer anyway, all i need is a pass.

so i found the second classroom, located the outlets, and took my seat. and observed everyone else as they straggled in. from the looks on their faces, i deduced that they didn't necessarily want to be here either. and from the looks on their faces i was also able to calculate that I'd probably be one of the smarter people in the class.

the professor introduced himself, (ratemyprofessor.com didn't give him such a good rating, although in my books, speaking English without an accent will ensure a better chance of being liked) announced the class, counted heads (16 people) and told us to expect twice that number. I looked around the room. twenty seats, and thirty two students-yet another class crammed into a classroom without nearly enough seats. Looks like we'll be sitting on each other’s laps this semester. the professor doesn't seem to be too worried about the lack of space, so he's not going to complain and try to get another classroom. in cases like this, the trick is to get to class early enough to ensure breathing space.

The professor handed out the syllabus (the usual, up to two absences without penalty, daily quizzes on reading material, final is 35% of the grade) and gave us ten minutes to read three pages, one of which was a list of pages to read for each class. So I eight and a half minutes listening to a professor in another classroom talk about where she grew up, went to school, all her former jobs, and her extended family, including her sister-in-law’s younger brother.

Then the professor started teaching. As soon as he started, I knew it was going to be a very long five weeks. The professor has an annoying habit of pausing after each statement he makes. Whether he’s looking for verification of what he says, or daring us to disagree, I have no clue.

2009-05-31T15:01:00.003-04:00

this week I counted the complete cycle of seven weeks. It’s a very big accomplishment for me, because I haven’t completed a cycle of sefirah since I brought a sefirah chart home from school-like second grade. I went through a period when I was indifferent as to whether or not I counted-oh I made a half-hearted attempt to count, but I usually ‘got out’ within the first two weeks. One year I even missed the first night. Then I heard somewhere that some rabbi said that women shouldn’t even start with a bracha because they’re almost inevitably going to forget counting at some point. I think it was the year I was seminary. So of course, once I was told I couldn’t do something, I became determined to do it. I even signed up for my dad’s email reminders. But I didn’t make it to the computer everyday, and I didn’t make it through the third week. Last year, my friend forwarded sefirah reminders to me every night, but by the time I signed up, I had missed one. I think it was Friday night, because I didn’t get a text. This year I got reminders every single night, and I made a big effort to remember to count on Friday night, and I never once missed a night. It’s a pretty big deal.

Why do people correlate counting sefirah to eating cheesecake? It’s everywhere; on facebook “So-and-so is still counting with a bracha, I can almost taste the cheesecake”, my dad, “if you count the entire sefirah, you can even have a piece of cheesecake on erev yomtov"

it’s become a thing that you can only have cheesecake if you count. I’m not a massive cheesecake fan. We have a dairy meal every yomtov, and on Pesach we almost always have cheesecake. But why specifically connect the Shavuos food? Why not “you cleaned your room for pesach, now you can eat macaroons on Pesach”? Or “you listened to the shofar all elul, now you can have a piece of honey cake on Rosh Hashana”?

to me Shavuos is supposed to be a summer chag, but this year it started off feeling like Succos-the first night was freezing and rainy. but the weather made up for on the first day by being beautiful, and when i ventured out in another cute-but-uncomfortable pair of shoes, i was able to appreciate living in the suburbs. but when i got to shul, my neighbor informed me that they were about finished. it's the thought that counts, right?

my mom's a big fan of using machzorim on chagim, because you've got all the tefila and torah reading right there. but it's just as easy to use a siddur and chumash, and not have to worry about leaving my machzor in shul. especially since my machzor has pages and pages of extra piyutim that my shul (thankfully) doesn't say. so I'm content to use an Artscroll siddur. sometimes when i daven from them on Y't i feel like I'm reading one of those Choose Your Own Adventure books. because every thirty pages or so, there are ten lines at the bottom of the page redirecting you depending on what time of year and what day of the week it is.

2009-05-26T17:14:00.003-04:00

in my family we're not big Memorial Day celebraters. we hang up the flag, and sometimes have a barbecue within 3 days of the day, but no big parties or family outings.

there is usually a ceremony at the veteran's cemetery down the street from my house, but i haven't gone in years. i think the thrill of watching decorated men shoot gun salutes, and then scrambling to look for blanks wore off a bunch of years ago. this year there was a parade of fire trucks and soldiers on Main Street, but my bed seemed like a much better place to be at 9am on a vacation morning.

but when i did drag myself out of bed, i almost had a productive day. i sat by the pool for an hour and kicked off the summer season with the first half of a big nice sunburn (i know, i should have put on suntan lotion) then i took my dad out for his birthday (he was so excited that he told everyone that it was for his birthday) and then i went boating with brother2 and got the second half of the burn (that's when it starting hurting a little)

so i did the outdoor thing, although I'm still wondering how eating hot dogs and going swimming helps commemorate soldiers who fell in battle defending the country.

a funny thing occurred while i was attempting to make plans for the week. i was texting my friend, back and forth, but we were both busy doing other things, so it was a very disjointed and took forever. i thought to myself, "if only there was some way i can talk to her directly and not wait to receive a reply" and then it hit me-phones are used for phone calls too!

I'm mainly a texter

2009-05-21T11:33:00.006-04:00

to people who love to accessorize, sunglasses are another fun thing to shop for, to match to their clothing, and bags.

but to someone like me, who is fashionably challenged, it's another thing to have to shop for, to make sure it matches with my clothing.

i usually stick with simple generic sunglasses that don't make me look like a bug, and actually keep the sun out of my eyes. sister1 has four pairs of sunglasses hanging up on the wall-her shabbos sunglasses, her regular weekday ones, her funky pink ones, and her favorite pair which cracked, but she doesn't have the heart to throw out (at least I'm assuming that's the reason she has for keeping sunglasses that she doesn't wear anymore) even brother1 has sunglasses, although i don't think he actually wears them, but he's very proud of them because they're a knockoff of some stupid company with an animal on them.

when sister1 came home from the city with yet another cool pair of sunglasses, i told her to buy me a pair of sunglasses. which she did. in truth, i don't really like them so much because you can sort of see my eyes through them, and one of the benefits of wearing sunglasses is that if i have to run out in the morning and i haven't yet had a chance to put on makeup, i can wear sunglasses and you can't really tell. but since it's too much of a hassle to actually shop for a pair, i just kept the ones she bought for me.

the other thing sunglasses are good for is to wear up on my head to keep my hair out of my face. i have a friend that tries on sunglasses two ways-on her face and up on her head, because she says the sunglasses spend equal time in both places. in the bungalow colony i worked at, there was a woman who went out at night and insisted on wearing her sunglasses over her shaitel even though it was like 9:30 and the sun had long since set. it wasn't like she'd been wearing them all day either. sometimes when I'm out all day i find that my sunglasses are still on at night, because I've gotten used to wearing them, like my blue tooth headset.

but the real pain with sunglasses is that it's so hard to find a normal pair, and they break so easily. they get squashed in my bag, someone steps on them, or sits on them when they're on the seat in the car, and then i have to go through the whole torturous process all over again. so far this spring I've only had one pair, and I'm hoping it stays that way.