being the only religious Jew in my clinical of eight students, means I'm somewhat of a interesting person. in terms of diversity, we're pretty even, but when it comes to religion I'm the only who one who's actually practicing. having been properly warned by everyone in my life, i steer clear of any philosophical discussions regarding keeping Shabbos, only eating Kosher, or believing in an afterlife. the girls in my class just wanted to know if I'm going to "have an arranged marriage" I've gotten pretty good at explaining, in the briefest and simplest of terms how the shidduch system works.

I've never been asked out by any of classmates, something that I'm thankful for, especially having heard stories from my friends who've had to politely but firmly decline offers from interested classmates. but last week a guy in my class tried to set me up.

his patient was an older Chassidic guy, who's young grandson was helping him get dressed and read over the Torah portion of the week. after my classmate (whose name is Sal) finished up with morning cares, he came over to me with a grin
"hey listen, i was talking to Mr. G's grandson-he's twenty two, and pretty smart. he's also not bad looking, and a really nice guy, very respectful to his elders. come with me, i want to introduce him to you"

even after i smiled and politely declined, he insisted that i was missing out by not agreeing to be introduced to said grandson. so i explained that this fellow was Chasidic, while i was looking for someone more mainstream Orthodox. But Sal just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, convinced i was making a big mistake. i half expected him to turn around and say "listen mamela, this one's a real ilui, you should at least agree to meet him!"

the mildly dangerous wildlife animals are slowly taking over the neighborhood.

deer and turkey are abound in my area. since i live across the street from a heavily wooded area, it was never uncommon to see deer crashing through the foliage or occasionally see a wild turkey early in the morning on the way to school, but lately they've become more bold, and less scared of humans.

recently I've seen more and more wild turkeys on the road, and they aren't afraid of the cars. they don't scatter in a satisfying noisy flurry of big wings and weird turkey-sounds. in fact, they just poke their skinny necks out and look at me with big beady eyes. it would be funny if it wasn't so annoying. it's not like i can just run the creatures over. I'd probably get fined because it's not hunting season or something.

as for the deer, I've started seeing them on our lawn more and more often. the other week when i opened the front door three of them went running past the front walk. i felt like i was in a scene out of Pocahontas or something. but by far the scariest was when i came home late on night, and parked my car, only to find a huge deer standing on the lawn, about four feet away from my car. when i got out of the car and made my way towards the front door, it started moving towards me. so i decided to spend the night in my car. but after about six minutes of thinking about my comfortable bed, i realized that i wanted to be inside. so i made a mad dash for the garage, woke up everyone in the process, but at least got safely inside.

but it's slightly unsettling that the animals aren't scared of cars. kind of like a child who realizes that his parent can't control him. now he's fearless and will do whatever he wants. before you know it, the wildlife will be in control. i say get out vests and start hunting. and maybe we can get rid of the Canadian geese while we're at it.

this tale is an epic one of sadness. it speaks of pain and betrayal, of tears of agony and frustration.

it's the story of our vacuum cleaner. it's a big heavy clunker of a vacuum, with a long hose and a huge canister. we've had it for as long as i can remember.

let me start off by explaining, that everyone has that one household chore they abhor. sister 1 hates doing dishes. sister 2 dislikes ironing and folding laundry. and i don't like vacuuming. maybe it's the model we own, but in my mind, i associate vacuuming the house with lugging a very large, and unwieldy machine up a flight of stairs, squashed toes, and smashed feet. did you know that if you hit your ankle bone with a metal piece that it's really really painful? like seeing-stars-wanting-to-yelp-very-loudly-painful

as far back as i can remember, there's always been something wrong with the vacuum. they guy who fixes it is practically on speed dial, and at least once a month when my mom goes out, she leaves last minute instructions, "if Mr. L calls, tell him he can come by to look at the vacuum, the broken piece in question is by the front door."

i compare it to the story of the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz. for anyone who doesn't know it, the Tin Man was once a regular woodcutter who accidentally cut off his arm, and got it replaced with a tin arm. (i think there was a beautiful girl, and evil witch, and a cursed axe in the story too) the same thing happened with the rest of his body over time, so that at the end, he was completely made of tin. after all the years of being fixed and replaced, i don't think any part of the vacuum cleaner is of the original one that we used to own.

i think my mother has a sentimental attachment to the monster, because i for one, wish we can get rid of it. i think vacuuming on my hands and knees with a Dustbuster would be more pleasant at this point.

completing my clinical rounds in nursing homes has made me very thankful that i am healthy. it's taught me to appreciate the gift of youth, and to be glad for everything I've been blessed with.

when my hair gets long, and i need to get a haircut, i am thankful that i have all my hair

when I'm about to go somewhere and my gas light goes on, i am thankful that i can drive

when my siblings wake me up, or ask me for rides, i am thankful that they are all healthy and under one roof

when my friends cancel our plans at the very last minute, i am thankful that i have friends who care about me

when I'm stressed out because I'm studying for tests, i am thankful that i am perfectly capable of studying and retaining information

when my dentist hounds me to come in and have my teeth cleaned, i am thankful that i have teeth.

it may sound funny, but so many little things are taken for granted, or maybe even seen as hindrances, but once we lose them, or they are taken away, we realize how much we depended on these things.

last week i proctored some tests in my old high school. I've been back in the school since i graduated, but this time i got the chance to observe the girls for awhile.

i totally understand what was meant by saying that every 5 years is a new generation. the girls in high school are very different than the way we were. for starters, when i graduated high school, there were three girls who had cellphones. today, the girls who don't have phones are the minorities (nevertheless, i still did want to throw something at the girl who called me "part of the older generation" when i told this to a group of twelfth graders) for one thing, the seniors are much more focused on what they want to do with their lives. i only had one friend who was sure in twelfth grade, of what path her life would take, was the girl who got engaged in December. for the rest of us, we knew to stick it out till January, finish up regents, go to Israel, and then...

but in some ways, i feel like things are always the same. there are still cliques, and groups of friends. the bathrooms are still a safe place to hide when you want to skip class, and there's always that one girl who insists on reviewing her notes, just one more time, even as the tests are being handed out. as i sat at the teacher's desk, observing the girls writing, i looked around the classrooms. if the walls could only talk, they'd have a myriad of stories to tell. of the secrets that were whispered, the fights that were fought, and friendships that were created. of the good times and bad. the planning for school activities, the practices for productions, the songs that were sung, and the lessons that were learned.

my own personal memories were bouncing around and hitting me all afternoon. the time my friend spilled her yogurt and it looked like the map of Africa, and the chess games we used to have at lunch. all the literature we read and discussed, from Lord of the Flies, to Frankenstein. the detentions i sat, and the countless meetings i had in the principals office, from the small infractions, like not having my shirt tucked in, to the the big decisions that were made, like deciding my next step after high school. the friends i made, whether it's those who i talk to every day, or the ones who i never see. the tests i studied for, the bulletin boards i created, the workshops i sat through, and the basketball games i played. the hill in the backyard where we used to go sledding, the waterfall we used to sit in when we cut class, and the pavement where we went rollerblading. it's easier to only remember the good times, and it's better that way too. every experience in life has its obstacles, but looking back, the good times overshadow the unpleasant ones, and make recalling those years easier.

one good turn deserves another...

JAWS (Jewish Alliance for Women in Science) is an organization for the promotion of Jewish women in math and science degrees. founded in 2009, the organization is still in developing stages, but for anyone out there who's either in a science/math-related degree, or looking into one, keep this site bookmarked on your computer and check it often, because they'll be fully up and running soon. they offer an e-mentoring program, as well as an area for discussion in almost any topic pertaining to science and math.

the reason why I'm promoting this site, is because they've got me linked on their Media page, along with Seminary to Scientist, the blog of a frum MD-PhD student.

there are some things you just don't learn in a Bais Yakov high school.

like how to act in college classes.

or it could just be a personality thing. i know that some girls graduate and go out into the "real world" as they're so fond of calling it, and acclimate well, and know how to balance being a religious young woman, and a college student, or a working professional. i like to think i can put myself in that category.

but then there are girls who haven't shed that last layer of wide-eyed naivety. and they go out into the world thinking that everyone is nice and friendly. and that college is a place where everyone is ready to eagerly soak up everything, and gain much knowledge.

obviously, this is not the case. especially in community college, where you can sometimes find the dregs of society. so just because there are 25 students sitting in a classroom, doesn't mean there are 25 people who are interested in learning. in all my nursing classes so far, there are usually 2 or 3 people who are only becoming nurse because their moms or dads are nurses. there are usually another 2 people that have somehow managed to squeak by, but make me wonder how they're going to last all the way until graduation without failing out. and then there's always that one person that sleeps through every single class. but even those that are there and willing to learn, don't always want to sit through class.

which brings me to my point; stupid questions. every professor, every teacher will announce that there are no stupid questions-i strongly disagree. there is an immeasurably large amount of stupid questions that can be asked. i try to think twice before i ask a question, because if not, once the words come out of my mouth, i realize that i already know the answer. of course, i look kind of weird when I'm talking to myself, but i don't mind that.

there is a frum girl in one of my classes who comes to every class, determined to learn everything there is to know, which is very commendable, but she should really take some time to stop and think before asking every single question. everyone is entitled to learn, and if she learns by asking questions, I'm not faulting her for that. but perhaps if she thought about some of her questions before she asked them, she'd realize that maybe she should just keep quiet and look them up when she gets home, or ask someone a little more worldly than herself.