I'm not good with malls. i don't love shopping (i know, shocking) but I'll tolerate it. put me in a store and i can shop for a long time. but in a mall, i get so distracted by everything else, that i forget to shop. it's hard to stay focused when i have to stop every thirty feet to explain to the Israeli vendors that just because I'm wearing a skirt, and i can find the Dead Sea on a map, doesn't mean I'm going to pay forty five dollars for an tub the size of a Blistex container, containing minerals that effectively do the same job as a 20 oz. pump of Lubriderm. the problem with the mall i shop in (one of the many problems, actually) is that the stores are placed so that if I'm shopping for shoes, i end up walking about two miles between all the stores. for that, i could go to Woodbury Commons, which, like my dentist's office, is high up on the list of Places That I Hate To Frequent.

it's some kind of sub-law of Murphy's that when you go shopping with a specific item in mind, you come home with something else. i went to buy shoes and i came home with a sweatshirt. but that's nothing. i remember that my mom once went shopping for clothing for myself and sister1 and came home with pants for brother2 and laundry detergent.

i chose a bad time to go shopping for shoes. the stores were packed with everyone buying back to school items. the little-kid-shoe-stores were full of moms and kids and screaming babies of every size and shape, swarming all over the little couches, and climbing the walls. there were kids running out of every store, with frazzled older sisters lunging after them. even DSW looked crowded, which is an amazing feat, because i always feel like everyone is miles and miles away from each other, lost between endless rows of shoes. i actually banged into sister2 (almost literally), which was providential, because i was supposed to be giving her a ride home, but had no way to reach her. i think my mom gave her about ten dollars in quarters and told her to use a payphone. i didn't even know they had those things anymore.

when i had exhausted all the shoe stores, i went into the Apple store, and looked longingly at all the items i couldn't afford to buy. I'm a closet Mac lover (well, not anymore) but i could never justify spending so much money for a laptop, even if it does come with a free itouch. but once i was there, i checked my email to make sure i hadn't missed out on anything earth shattering in the three hours that i was away from my computer. (i hadn't)

after that, there wasn't much else to do. sister1 has the talent of being able to spend hours in a mall, without shopping for a single item. i don't really know how she does it. first she spends a half hour in Sephora putting on makeup. then she goes to Starbucks to look at all the lattes and cappuccinos. after that, she goes to the Apple store, so she can point to the itouch and tell me that she "owns one of those". when I'm just about ready to strangle her, she whisks away to the Body Shop to smell all the hand lotions and soaps. after awhile, the fumes start to overwhelm me and i can no longer differentiate between Mandarin and Mango. one day I'm going to buy her a pair of blinders.

but i was by myself yesterday, so the shopping trip wasn't nearly as painful as i thought it would be.