I've been haunting my computer all morning.

i'm waiting to hear from my professor, who said she'll be emailing us with our grades today. so far, my inbox lies empty.

i probably should walk away for like a half hour, but i'm dying to know what i got on the test. y'know when you're bored, and you wander into the kitchen, and look through the fridge? and you don't find anything so you leave...and then come back ten minutes later to check again? as if in those ten minutes food magically appeared...

i gotta go. i need to check my inbox again.

another rite of passage into adulthood...

...one i could have done without:

parking violation

at the end of a long day at school, the only place i wanted to be was at home. with no homework to do. i got into my car, started the engine...and saw the little scrap of paper tucked under my wiper. at first i thought it was a nasty note, but as i got out of the car i saw it was a ticket. i mentally scanned my car; it was parked legally, everything seemed to be OK.

i looked at the ticket;

expired inspection.

i thought my inspection was good until December of 2009.

but that was my registration.

hello, nobody told me you have to have your car inspected every year!

why doesn't my mechanic send out postcards like my dentist does?

and which stupid cop has nothing better to do with his day than to drive around college parking lots looking for cars with violations???

life is really a fragile thing. one second we're breathing, and the next, our body is just an empty shell. nobody knows when the hourglass is going to run out, when the last few sands of life are going to slip through, and then it's too late. too late to fix anything, too late to say goodbye, too late to say I'm sorry...

a teacher of mine was sick for many years, and passed away last night. and it got me thinking. did i appreciate what she taught me? did i ever say thank you after a lesson, before i shut my books and turned to my friend to talk? did i ever apologize for the lessons i disrupted when i thought that whatever i had to say was more important than what she wanted to teach?

i didn't.

and now it's too late to ever make amends.

having Jewish classmates who aren't religious can put you through experiences that range from funny, to awkward, and downright embarrassing.

on Purim morning when i was in clinical, the nurse manager on duty was talking about the daily schedule. she mentioned that since it's Purim, the schedule was different. Tatiana looked at me and asked

"what's Purim?" so i said

"oh well it's Jewish holiday..."

"no i know that" she said "but what is it? like why do you celebrate it?"

well, how do you sum up Purim in 50 words or less, to a Latino girl who would get offended if i told her we were celebrating the fact that some non-Jewish guy wanted to kill Jews? before i could begin to explain what it was, Jan (who's nonreligious) leaned forward and said

"it's like a cross between Christmas and Halloween" then he looked at me and explained "well, Halloween because you dress up, and Christmas because you give out presents"

i didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

it happens once a semester, about the same time as midterms. students start making decisions about running for positions in the Student Government. in order to run for president, you need to have a certain amount of signatures. so the would-be-candidates walk around the computer lab, library, and student lounge, where the biggest congregation of student body can be found. they'll walk around from table to table, shove their papers under your nose, and mumble incoherently at you.

"what's this?" i asked a short Asian guy who was hovering behind me. between the noise of the library, his accent, and the impossibly low level at which he was speaking, i could barely hear him.

"um, I'm running for student government. would you sign my petition and support me?"

"sure, what's your platform?" i asked

"my what?"

"your platform? what changes are you going to make if you win? i mean, if you want me to support you, you have to tell what you're going to do for me"
he thought about this for a minute

"well, i think I'll get rid of Pluralism and Diversity (the college core for all degrees) i feel like it's a big waste of time, and you gain enough experience in diversity in the college"

(this is why he wants to run for student Governor. so he can get rid of a class that he already took)

so i took the pen and i signed his platform.


the whole Student Government is a big joke to me. in fact, i was just about to make fun of the Hillel government on Friday night, when our guest said to me,
"oh, you go to ________ College? do you know my son? he's the treasurer of the Hillel"

whoops.


last semester, there was a frum guy running for some government office. i don't necessarily take part in the elections, but he was standing outside the Student Union building, giving out pencils. when he saw that i was wearing a skirt, he said "you know you want to vote for me!" and handed me a pencil that had his name on it. i took the pencil, wished him luck, and told him that he might get more votes if he gave out sharpened pencils. but then i voted for him anyway.

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they say that many years ago, man was a great hunter. in today's (slightly) civilized time, many of the hunters' instincts have disappeared. if you want to see true hunter's instincts resurface, go stand in the parking lot. especially the lot of a college with very few good spots. fifteen minutes before class starts is optimal time.

there are three lots on the college campus. the best lot is on the side of the building where the classes are. this is the lot that fills up the quickest. the second-best lot is the one in the front of the campus. this is good if you're going to the main front building to register, pay, or visit any of the offices, or if it's really cold or raining and you want to cut through that building to get to your class. the third lot is the biggest. and has the worst parking. it spans the entire width of the campus and lies behind all the buildings. from the best spot in that lot, you need to walk up about 30 steps and down a path to get to class. try sprinting that when you're late. and carrying a full bag and a computer. not so easy.

on the days that i go to school early (before 8 am) i never have a problem finding a spot in the best lot. the other two days i don't start class before two. unless i go really early to study in the library, i usually have to park in the front lot, or wait for a spot. when I'm running late, i end up parking way, way in the back and running all the way.

but trying to find a spot in a crowded lot is a sport in itself. pulling into the lot and seeing no spots and three circling cars is always a bad sign. making a quick round of the lot to see if there are any spots that the circlers missed reveals that there are no spots. so the next step is to scan the path to see if anyone is coming out of the building. if there is someone, you can either follow them to their spot, or roll down your window and politely ask them if they are pulling out and if you can have their spot. the best place to sit and wait for people to leave the building is at the end of the path, where you're closest to whoever is leaving. the second someone clicks their keys and unlocks their doors, the cars zoom up like shark circling a prey. it's usually the fastest, most aggressive car that wins this battle. or the car with the most dents. that kind of car usually broadcasts a message that they bump other cars. frequently. usually, once a car is positioned next to a car backing out of a spot symbolizes that they are pulling into that spot. most people put their blinkers on just to make sure that everyone got the message. and everyone usually leaves them alone. but once in awhile, a nasty person will zoom right in the spot before you've even had a chance to shift from park to drive. when this happens, there is no point in even trying to reason with that person. the only thing to do at this point is go back and try again. and pray you're not late to class.

Purim 2009

this should really be a series of mini-posts, but I'm just going to dump this all out into one long (boring?) post

Taanis Esther
i always felt like this was the 'lost' fast. with all the other fast days, there is a lot of focus and reflection on why we're fasting, but with Taanis Esther, it's all making the mishloach manot, preparing the costumes, and cooking the food. i had class on Monday, and it was one of the hardest fasts I've ever done (not including Yom Kippurs) because everyone around me was eating. french fries, pizza, chicken, soup, cake, crackers, pretzels...i think i started hallucinating and saw dancing donuts march in front of my eyes. and the beads on my instructors necklace looked like candies...
i tried to study, but i could barely hear my thoughts over the rumbling protest of my stomach. it hadn't helped that i forgot to eat lunch the day before.

Costumes
the question is, do you wear costumes at night? my shul does a chagiga following megillah reading, so we've always come dressed up in costume. this year was no different. my costume was a very last minute decision, and i was very impressed with myself that it came out so good. my entire family always dresses up, even my parents. there are a few families in the shul who are into matching themes; the costumes, the mishloach manot, the seudah, the wall decorations, it all ties in. this year was no exception. of course there were they typical costumes, queens, brides, princesses, Indians, cowboys/girls, punks, sports figures. the girls usually pick costumes that include one or more of the following:
long fingernails
big dangly earrings
a lot of makeup
the boys usually choose a costume that includes one or more of the following:
spiked hair
piercings
fake tattoos
guns/swords
cigarettes

Megillah
my idea of a perfect megillah reading is one where you can bang for the first and last Haman, and in between the reader reads right through all the other Hamans. the worse reading i ever sat through was when i was in seminary. it took an hour and fifteen minutes. pure agony. our shul has instituted a policy of no caps or any smoking or banging things during megillah reading. thank goodness for that. brother2 set off so many poppers and bombs that my nerves were totally shot by the end of Purim.
this morning, i had a little salvation of my own with Megillah reading. i had the problem of a clinical that started at 8 am and finished at 1 pm. since they changed the clock (why is it phrased that way, "they" changed the clock, we are the ones who change the clock...) there was no minyan that would be finished before 8 am. so i was going to have to make my dad my shomer to make sure i would hear megillah. slightly annoying, but that's part of life.
but....
the facility that my clinical was located in is Jewish facility, and there were signs everywhere that announced Megillah reading at 10:15. so i took a chance, held my breath, and asked my instructor if i could leave the class to hear Megillah...and she said yes!

Mishloach Manot
the thing about mishloach manot that confuses me the most is the whole reciprocity thing. you have to leave someone at home to give mishloach manot to the people who come, but then you run into the problem of one person getting two from you. or none. and even leaving a list isn't foolproof. because what if you decide to run into someone's house and don't tell the person at home? i decided that next year I'm going to make one mishloach manot. just one. I'll give it to the first person who gives to me. and then I'll take the one they give me and give it to the next person who gives to me. except I'll run into a problem if there are labels on it. or if i give to a friend who will then have two of the exact same mishloach manot. sister1 says she's saving the bags and containers that she received mishloach manot in and next year she's going to give everyone mishloach manot in the bags that they gave her in this year.