"OK, now I'm going to get off my bandwagon"
(don't hurt yourself on the way down, dear)
join the bandwagon, get off your high horse
"biting at the chomp"
(I'm still looking for a chomp....can't find one)
chomping at the bit
"a feather in his bonnet"
(well that would look rather nice, wouldn't it)
feather in your cap, bee in your bonnet
"hey, if the truth fits, wear it!"
(now how's this for size?)
the truth hurts, if the shoe fits wear it
"if truth comes to shove
(she says she was kidding and said this one intentionally, but i have my doubts)
when push comes to shove, if truth be told
"you could have knocked me down with a fender"
(there are very few people i know who can't be knocked down with a fender)
you could have knocked me down with a feather
"you can talk to them till they're ill in the face"
-said by my cpr instructor, about obtaining consent to help a victim (obviously they're ill, that's why I'm trying to help them in the first place!)
"cutting off your nose despite your face"
cut of your nose to spite your face
"we can beat this till I'm dead in the face"
(this one is so messed up, it took me awhile to figure out what she was trying to say)
you can't beat a dead horse, talk till i'm blue in the face
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
dear friend,
i miss you. it's been awhile since we've spoken. last time we did, you told me had nothing against me, you just didn't want to talk to me because you hate all frum Jews. we haven't really spoken since then. oh sure, you friended me on facebook, and i sent you a teddy bear, and you wrote on my wall, but it's not the same. nothing like the long conversations we used to have back in high school. i remember when i first met you. i admired you for being strong and knowing who you were, even with all those around you pressuring you to bend and conform. and i was so happy to be able to be there for you.
but the year after that, i was so busy finishing up with high school, and getting ready to "become and adult" and go out into the "real world" and i was too busy for you. how i wish i could take it all back. and not let go of that awesome bond we created. because after that you went away. and i went to Israel. and you were so unhappy and there was nothing i could do about it. i felt so helpless 6000 miles away.
remember when you called me during bedikas chametz, and i told you i couldn't talk because i was too busy? i wish i could take that back. i wish i could stop my "busy, adult life" and sit and talk to you for hours and hours. i don't care if you changed your lifestyle. i miss your essence. i miss what's inside of you, what drew me to you in the first place.
I'm not asking you to change your way of life, or to come back home. i know life's been harsh to you. I'm just begging you to give me another chance. please, let me in again.
i miss you.
i love you.
love, me
i miss you. it's been awhile since we've spoken. last time we did, you told me had nothing against me, you just didn't want to talk to me because you hate all frum Jews. we haven't really spoken since then. oh sure, you friended me on facebook, and i sent you a teddy bear, and you wrote on my wall, but it's not the same. nothing like the long conversations we used to have back in high school. i remember when i first met you. i admired you for being strong and knowing who you were, even with all those around you pressuring you to bend and conform. and i was so happy to be able to be there for you.
but the year after that, i was so busy finishing up with high school, and getting ready to "become and adult" and go out into the "real world" and i was too busy for you. how i wish i could take it all back. and not let go of that awesome bond we created. because after that you went away. and i went to Israel. and you were so unhappy and there was nothing i could do about it. i felt so helpless 6000 miles away.
remember when you called me during bedikas chametz, and i told you i couldn't talk because i was too busy? i wish i could take that back. i wish i could stop my "busy, adult life" and sit and talk to you for hours and hours. i don't care if you changed your lifestyle. i miss your essence. i miss what's inside of you, what drew me to you in the first place.
I'm not asking you to change your way of life, or to come back home. i know life's been harsh to you. I'm just begging you to give me another chance. please, let me in again.
i miss you.
i love you.
love, me
Friday, May 23, 2008
onlysimchas.com
i stopped posting on onlysimchas awhile ago. i don't even check it out anymore. to begin with, i was never a big fan of surfing that sight anyway. i didn't see the point in checking out random strangers' wedding pictures, aliyah pictures, (just a million pictures in the airport) or birth pictures (the poor wife always looks horrible, but she has no energy to yell at her husband for taking pictures of her)
there has not been a single engagement that I've found out from onlysimchas. with the exception of an old friend who i have not kept up with and not even bothered to wish mazal tov because she would not remember me anyway (i have one of those crazy memories that i can remember faces and names from years ago)
as for posting, again, i see no point in it. by the time the kallah has checked out her page, I've already been to the vort and wished her mazal tov in person. some kallahs don't even know they're on, because they've been put on by their chosson's friends.
there are two different kind of posts
1. the hysterical best friend. this one is complete with long ramblings that mean nothing to anyone else who reads them, besides the kallah who either reads it very late, or doesn't remember half of what the post is referring to, in her ditzy-kallah state:
"MAZAL TOV Chaya!!!! OMG I CANNNOT BELIEVE YOU'RE ENGAGED!!!! AAAAHHHH!! I know i already posted like seven times but i had urge to post again i didnt say enough....dont thnk just bec ure gettin married were still having fun LEDUGMAAAAAAAA our trips to (insert name of frequented restaurant) lol get ready ill start coming to your new house hmmmmmmmmmmmm i wonder where can you guess?????!!!(insert crazy story that happened once, usually highlighiting the kallah's inability to drive) hahahahaha never forget lol.....(random memories, which make absolutely no sense, and are totally not punctuated correctly) MAZAL TOV CHOSSON & KALLAH!!!!Love (some obscure nickname, and if not for the name at the top of the post, the kallah would have no clue who posted it)"
2. the gushy type. whether it's the best friend, or someone who hasn't spoken to the kallah since second grade, this poster feels the need to let everyone know exactly how long they've known the kallah, and they feel it their duty to assure the chosson he's getting a 'prize':
"mazal tov! SORI!! it's crazy, it feels like just yesterday we were in nursery together, blowing our noses on the teacher's skirt and eating sand (here, they insert every embarrassing act the kallah ever did in her early years)and now you're getting MARRIED!!! avi I'm sure you know by now, but you're getting the best! she's an amazing girl! i hope you guys only have ALL the bracha in the world, build a BEAUTIFUL home, and have GORGEOUS kids with TONS of nachas! you look ADORABLE together!! thanks for being the BEST friend EVER!!"
3. short and to the point:
"mazal tov rivky" (if you're going to the vort, you'll say those exact words, and if you've go the kind of relationship where you'll never utter the words to her, is she really going to read your post, remember who you are, and think "oh wow it's so nice to hear from her!"?)
and i always wondered:
since the posts are usually all capitalized, does that mean the poster would be shouting if she said this all in person?
why can't anyone take the time to spellcheck?
do they realize they're making a fool of themselves for all the Jewish world to see?
there has not been a single engagement that I've found out from onlysimchas. with the exception of an old friend who i have not kept up with and not even bothered to wish mazal tov because she would not remember me anyway (i have one of those crazy memories that i can remember faces and names from years ago)
as for posting, again, i see no point in it. by the time the kallah has checked out her page, I've already been to the vort and wished her mazal tov in person. some kallahs don't even know they're on, because they've been put on by their chosson's friends.
there are two different kind of posts
1. the hysterical best friend. this one is complete with long ramblings that mean nothing to anyone else who reads them, besides the kallah who either reads it very late, or doesn't remember half of what the post is referring to, in her ditzy-kallah state:
"MAZAL TOV Chaya!!!! OMG I CANNNOT BELIEVE YOU'RE ENGAGED!!!! AAAAHHHH!! I know i already posted like seven times but i had urge to post again i didnt say enough....dont thnk just bec ure gettin married were still having fun LEDUGMAAAAAAAA our trips to (insert name of frequented restaurant) lol get ready ill start coming to your new house hmmmmmmmmmmmm i wonder where can you guess?????!!!(insert crazy story that happened once, usually highlighiting the kallah's inability to drive) hahahahaha never forget lol.....(random memories, which make absolutely no sense, and are totally not punctuated correctly) MAZAL TOV CHOSSON & KALLAH!!!!Love (some obscure nickname, and if not for the name at the top of the post, the kallah would have no clue who posted it)"
2. the gushy type. whether it's the best friend, or someone who hasn't spoken to the kallah since second grade, this poster feels the need to let everyone know exactly how long they've known the kallah, and they feel it their duty to assure the chosson he's getting a 'prize':
"mazal tov! SORI!! it's crazy, it feels like just yesterday we were in nursery together, blowing our noses on the teacher's skirt and eating sand (here, they insert every embarrassing act the kallah ever did in her early years)and now you're getting MARRIED!!! avi I'm sure you know by now, but you're getting the best! she's an amazing girl! i hope you guys only have ALL the bracha in the world, build a BEAUTIFUL home, and have GORGEOUS kids with TONS of nachas! you look ADORABLE together!! thanks for being the BEST friend EVER!!"
3. short and to the point:
"mazal tov rivky" (if you're going to the vort, you'll say those exact words, and if you've go the kind of relationship where you'll never utter the words to her, is she really going to read your post, remember who you are, and think "oh wow it's so nice to hear from her!"?)
and i always wondered:
since the posts are usually all capitalized, does that mean the poster would be shouting if she said this all in person?
why can't anyone take the time to spellcheck?
do they realize they're making a fool of themselves for all the Jewish world to see?
Thursday, May 22, 2008
day 33
i will never have another lag baomer like the one i had in Israel.
when i was in elementary school, lab baomer meant we would take a trip to a state park, in rain or shine (somehow it was always raining) and i always forgot my lunch at home and had to end up eating the soggy pears and unflavored, unsweetened applesauce that was provided for the kids that ate school lunch. once we got the parks we usually ended up having races or paper clips hunts-yes, they really thought we would get down on our hands and knees and look for little colored pieces of metal among the mud and goose poop of bear mountain state park. after sixth grade we refused to take part in these kind of things, and usually all sat around listening to our Walkmans (we thought we were cool because we listened to hamsa boys) in eighth grade the entire eighth grade (125 girls) collectively, found one paper clip. we really didn't care.
in high school, it wasn't much better. in ninth grade our school had a bonfire in the backyard. all the girls from sternberg went crazy, putting dirt on their faces, leaping around the fire whooping their heads off. i thought they were crazy. our principal took us to some park, where all we wanted to do was tan in the sun and listen to music-by then it was on our ipods. and if i remember correctly, this was when my friends were going through the Yankee-craze phase, so under the guise of old Walkmans, they listened to the games.
our neighborhood had a bonfire every year in a park, but i stopped going a couple of years back, because the thought of standing in the the drizzly cold to roast a couple of marshmallows when i could easily do it over a stove, just didn't appeal to me.
but nothing surpasses lag baomer in meron. we all piled onto a bus and traveled for hours, my Israeli madricha told us stories and taught us all the words to 'bar yochai'-did you know that it's like pages and pages long? i have a friend who still remembers all the words. it was hot and stuffy, but nothing would prepare us for when we got off the bus. we joined the throngs of people walking up the hills towards the kever. it took us about an hour from when we got off the bus, to the doorway of the kever. and another twenty minutes to get inside.
there were people everywhere, from all different walks of life. selling posters, bumper stickers, pins, hats, t-shirts, that sported breslov sayings, as well as the little smiley with the peyot and kippah, in addition to pictures of the rebbe. there were old men, young boys, sheep, and goats. little boys just getting their haircuts, groups of irreligious israeli teenagers wearing little plastic kippot and four inch skirts over their jeans. there were people walking around giving out free water bottles, and EMTs running back and forth with stretchers filled with fainting women. the line for the bathroom was longer than the line to get gas in new jersey, and there was an over abundance of air freshener and no toilet paper. everyone was pushing and shoving, screaming names, and yelling at each other.
one old lady really lost it. she was screaming at us, cursing us out. my friend looked her calmly in the eye, and then yelled back "gam ani ben adam! eifoh hakavod habriyot shelach?"
once we got to the entrance, the guard wasn't letting anyone in because it was too full. he said we would have to wait for people to come out. but man, there were some holy people in there, because they sure weren't coming out. so we asked him very calmly and quietly, to pretty please, let us in. and he did. he moved from the door, and told his friend to let us come in.
boy, if we thought it was hot outside, it was sweltering inside! but at least we got to go inside. we didn't get anywhere near the actual kever of course, no way was i going to wriggle myself between millions of sweaty people.
trying to get back to the bus was an experience in itself. we were going against the tide. one of my friends who is really short stopped walking for a second, and was swept backwards. it was really scary, how close she came to being trampled.
when i was in elementary school, lab baomer meant we would take a trip to a state park, in rain or shine (somehow it was always raining) and i always forgot my lunch at home and had to end up eating the soggy pears and unflavored, unsweetened applesauce that was provided for the kids that ate school lunch. once we got the parks we usually ended up having races or paper clips hunts-yes, they really thought we would get down on our hands and knees and look for little colored pieces of metal among the mud and goose poop of bear mountain state park. after sixth grade we refused to take part in these kind of things, and usually all sat around listening to our Walkmans (we thought we were cool because we listened to hamsa boys) in eighth grade the entire eighth grade (125 girls) collectively, found one paper clip. we really didn't care.
in high school, it wasn't much better. in ninth grade our school had a bonfire in the backyard. all the girls from sternberg went crazy, putting dirt on their faces, leaping around the fire whooping their heads off. i thought they were crazy. our principal took us to some park, where all we wanted to do was tan in the sun and listen to music-by then it was on our ipods. and if i remember correctly, this was when my friends were going through the Yankee-craze phase, so under the guise of old Walkmans, they listened to the games.
our neighborhood had a bonfire every year in a park, but i stopped going a couple of years back, because the thought of standing in the the drizzly cold to roast a couple of marshmallows when i could easily do it over a stove, just didn't appeal to me.
but nothing surpasses lag baomer in meron. we all piled onto a bus and traveled for hours, my Israeli madricha told us stories and taught us all the words to 'bar yochai'-did you know that it's like pages and pages long? i have a friend who still remembers all the words. it was hot and stuffy, but nothing would prepare us for when we got off the bus. we joined the throngs of people walking up the hills towards the kever. it took us about an hour from when we got off the bus, to the doorway of the kever. and another twenty minutes to get inside.
there were people everywhere, from all different walks of life. selling posters, bumper stickers, pins, hats, t-shirts, that sported breslov sayings, as well as the little smiley with the peyot and kippah, in addition to pictures of the rebbe. there were old men, young boys, sheep, and goats. little boys just getting their haircuts, groups of irreligious israeli teenagers wearing little plastic kippot and four inch skirts over their jeans. there were people walking around giving out free water bottles, and EMTs running back and forth with stretchers filled with fainting women. the line for the bathroom was longer than the line to get gas in new jersey, and there was an over abundance of air freshener and no toilet paper. everyone was pushing and shoving, screaming names, and yelling at each other.
one old lady really lost it. she was screaming at us, cursing us out. my friend looked her calmly in the eye, and then yelled back "gam ani ben adam! eifoh hakavod habriyot shelach?"
once we got to the entrance, the guard wasn't letting anyone in because it was too full. he said we would have to wait for people to come out. but man, there were some holy people in there, because they sure weren't coming out. so we asked him very calmly and quietly, to pretty please, let us in. and he did. he moved from the door, and told his friend to let us come in.
boy, if we thought it was hot outside, it was sweltering inside! but at least we got to go inside. we didn't get anywhere near the actual kever of course, no way was i going to wriggle myself between millions of sweaty people.
trying to get back to the bus was an experience in itself. we were going against the tide. one of my friends who is really short stopped walking for a second, and was swept backwards. it was really scary, how close she came to being trampled.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
its' that kind of mad frustration...the kind that has me blinking back tears of anger. i feel like a little kid again, and I've just been told that i can't go to my friend's house to sleep over. and i want to cry. i know that it won't solve anything, and it's probably not the most mature reaction, but that's what I'm feeling right now. if i didn't know better, i would kick the wall really hard, but that's not a wise thing to do either.
i just gotta keep reminding myself that things like this happen. and I'm going to do everything i can to make sure I'm never, ever in this situation again. ever.
i just gotta keep reminding myself that things like this happen. and I'm going to do everything i can to make sure I'm never, ever in this situation again. ever.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
tattoos that made me stop and wonder...
the girl who sat next to me last semester...three greek characters across the inside of her wrist...
the guy going down the stairs in front of me...a butterfly on the back of his neck...
the girl in line in front of me at the bursar's office...a line of writing around the back of her heel...
the lady who works at the front desk at the nursing department...the weird upside-down chinese symbol on the back of her hand...
the guy who sat next to me in photography class (which i got an A in)...a beetle under his earlobe...
the guy going down the stairs in front of me...a butterfly on the back of his neck...
the girl in line in front of me at the bursar's office...a line of writing around the back of her heel...
the lady who works at the front desk at the nursing department...the weird upside-down chinese symbol on the back of her hand...
the guy who sat next to me in photography class (which i got an A in)...a beetle under his earlobe...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
