it's funny how when you move on to a different stage in life, you look back at younger people and wonder in amazement how you ever thought you were cool.

I'm "babysitting" in my old high school while the girls are practicing for their concert. i'm sitting and observing them (in between my chapters of tubular re absorption and acid-base balance) dance and socialize and I'm realizing that they i was probably the exact same way in high school. and why not? my friends and i thought we were on top of the world:

we were old enough to drive and go out alone
we were young enough not to have any big responsibilities besides for school (and who take school seriously when you're in high school anyway????)
we were well-behaved enough to be trusted with our own freedom
we were deviant enough to enjoy good times

but oh, we were so childish. and so nerdy!

we looked back and seventh and eighth graders and called them babies. we thought we were all grown up.

and then we graduated high school and went away to Israel. and then we thought we'd really grown up. here we had all the freedom in the world. a whole year to explore the land, our religion, and ourselves. we felt bad for our friends still confined to the rigidity of high school. we were sure that we'd made it to adulthood.

ha.

now that I've been back for a little bit, i see how the year in Israel is, a great experience, yes, but more than that, it's living in a bubble. where everything is all perfect and beautiful. and the girls are so busy rushing around, taking pictures, going to Americans in maalot dafna, and rebbitzins in bnei brak, and eating out in cafe rimon and center one, and going jet skiing in netanya, and the blind museum in cholon. shabbat chanuka in tzfat, and bircat kohanim at the kotel.

but more importantly than that, i no longer think I'm all grown up. i know I'm still young, I've got my whole life ahead of me, and more than a lifetime of lessons to learn.