if this was indeed true, you'd be able to figure out that something big is happening in my house.
next shabbos is brother2's bar mitzvah.
as if that were not crazy enough, my mom was trying to wash everyone's laundry before the nine days, pack sister2 and brother2 up for camp, and brother1 decided to come home in between first half and second half. add to that the fact that cousin3 is staying at our house for July, and my parents are actively trying to marry off two daughters, and i bet any Stress-O-Meter would be off the scale right now.
my mother's been on the phone with the caterer, anyone who owns centerpieces, my cousin who's a party planner, and all the relatives from Israel to Texas, Michigan to California. of course, not all of them are coming, but enough to warrant wholly another round of phone calls-to acquire housing for all assorted relatives. in this, we are lucky, because a lot of relatives have other relatives or close friends who they can stay at. my mom's sister1 and sister2 are staying at cousins who live nearby, and her brother2 and sister3 have good friends at which they will stay.
my dad's got his fair share of the stress as well. he's got to deal with all the fun things, like speeches, aliyot, speeches, davening, speeches, brother2's hat, invitations, speeches, programing...(I'm hoping he'll get the hint and keep the number of speeches at a minimum-if i fall asleep in my soup I'll ruin my makeup) and he's gotta work things out with a neighbor who is making an aufruf the same weekend, and will be splitting davening, aliyot, and the kiddush.
in addition, various friends, neighbors, and relatives are constantly calling in to offer their support, whether in the form of verbal encouragement, or offers to bake.
i don't know which part I'm more excited about; seeing brother2 finally "become a man", catchingup with relatives, or listening to kriat hatorah and the knowledge that i will not have to listen to brother practicing it over and over, at the top of his lungs.
but then again, if it means he'll go back to practicing "We Will Rock You" on his trumpet, i think I'd prefer leining.