talking about other people is never a smart thing.it only gets you into trouble. like that story that teachers love to tell about the girls who were talking about their friend and almost messed up her shidduch. you never know what will come out of it. you never know when the words that come out of your mouth will fly around the world and bite you in the seat of your pants. as a kid i loved looking at my grandmother's book of Norman Rockwell paintings. one of my favorites was the one titled "Gossip" this was in the days before Mishemeres photocopied it and gave it out in their anti-loshon-hora campaign.
a friend of mine has been in and out of rehab. now she's really getting a hold on her life and is living in a halfway house. there aren't that many people who she is in touch with from her past, and one of them recently got all mad at me for not telling her that my friend was in rehab. i was a little surprised. did she expect me to tell her randomly, one day, "by the way, r was in rehab for substance abuse last year"? sticky.
another friend of mine was getting engaged. i was informed, with strict instructions NOT to tell anyone. so i didn't. at the l'chaim a friend came over and demanded to know why i didn't tell her that e was getting engaged. again, sticky.
i understand that humans have to feel like they know what's going on, like they're in charge. it starts as early as five years old, who hate it when other girls whisper about them. we have to feel like nothing can surprise us. but that's what life is all about. it's making plans...and then having to deal with them when they fall through. it's planning a picnic and then eating it inside because it's raining. it's finding a job and then quitting because your class schedule changed. it's saying yes and then saying no. 12:30 and then 1:00. if we could manage to run our own lives, we could be G-d. and then there would be no point in living life.