Sunday, August 31, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
I've officially reached that stage. The one where I look at my calendar at all the weddings and showers I have to go to and groan.
I've got the wedding thing figured out. I show up to the reception with enough time to go to the kallah, give the standard 'you look gorgeous, I hope you're really happy', go find any required relatives/neighbors and say mazal tov so they can report back to my mother that I am a functioning member of society with adequate social skills, find my friends, squeal over how skinny they look, groan over stupid professors, and bemoan our lack of social lives. I've become pretty good at estimating time so that when I'm done with all this, the chosson comes in to gaze teary-eyed at his kallah and whisper his own wishes to her, watch the mothers cry over their babies as he covers her face, and go find a seat at the chuppah.
I've figured out which seat to take so I'll be able to wish the kallah mazal tov when she's walking back down the aisle, and still be able to get out of the chuppah room as quickly and painlessly as possible. I've also figured out which perakim of tehillim take enough time so that I can pray my little piece and be finished just as the kallah is passing my seat.
The whole point of going to weddings is to celebrate with the bride and groom, right? So while they're being put through all kinds of uncomfortable and annoying poses, I can technically leave and come back just when they're coming back in for dancing, right? Wrong! Somewhere along the way, it's become an unspoken rule that the friends all have to hang around their tables so that all the mothers of young eligible bachelors who are at the wedding can hover around the tables and check out the eligible young ladies who, like cattle, are 'on the market' and just want to be scrutinized, from the tops of their freshly blow-dried head, to the tips of their shiny shoes. Indeed, that is why we dress up and come to these functions anyway.
Of course, you can't miss the arch waving ceremony. That's when the band either plays 'Mission Impossible' or the standard 'Intro' while the girls all stand trying to suppress their shrieking because it's 'unfine' then the happy couple finally comes in after drinking lots of PowerAde so they can get some electrolytes back into their systems after fasting all day, the chosson quickly hops over to the men's' side, while the kallah tries to fit her gown between the rows and looks for her mother, while trying to look elegant for the cameras. If I'm really lucky, I can get to do a little hand holding/jumping thing with the kallah before the end of the first dance, which can happen if there isn't too much family, so I can wish her mazal tov again, and quickly make my exit. If not, I have to suffer through another agonizing course of shadchan dodging and the annoying cameramen urging us to make complete fools over ourselves on camera.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
yet for all the clothing stuffed in, i can never manage to find something to wear. apparently twelve year old boy don't have this problem
fcg:brother 2, do you ever wake up in the morning and have nothing to wear?
brother 2 looks up from his video game at me incredulously: you're crazy, no. i just take any t-shirt and shorts
fcg:yea but do you ever try on all your clothing and none of them seem right?
this doesn't even get an answer, as brother 2 goes back to his game, leaving me to ponder. indeed, it seems that most members of the male species are lucky to never have this problem. my dad's wardrobe varies slightly in that it also contains slacks and button downs, but he doesnt' seem to have a problem either. why is it that females stare blankly at a stack or row of clothing, and mumble that age old complaint "i have nothing to wear"?
Friday, August 15, 2008
can you imagine the load of stress taken off parents' minds when they didn't have to worry? no need to suddenly start using plastics, buying green bananas, or dishes. no worrying about getting onto the proverbial 'list'. moms could venture out of their tents without worrying about how they looked (it's not like they were wearing shaitels then anyway, so they had one less thing to worry about to begin with) no need to cover up that story about the younger brother who ran off to join the Bedouins a year earlier. and it was OK if the father didn't learn in Moshe Rabbeinu's shiur, but a lower shiur...
Monday, August 11, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
i can feel it in the air at night. it's getting cooler. august weather is way cooler than July, i have to grab a sweatshirt when I'm on my way out. and i don't run my air conditioner every night
i can see it in the frenzied ads for school supplies. home depot, walmart, staples...every time i go out I'm bombarded with ads and commercials. time to to stock up on those pens and pencils. i gotta go through my stacks of notebooks and see how many new ones i have to buy for the coming semester
i can hear it in the everyday conversations around me. the little cousins are going shopping for shoes. the new freshmen are anxious about starting a new school, getting used to new rules. the high school seniors are anticipating their last year. my friends who are going off to Israel are starting to pack.
i can smell it in the air. it still smells like summer, but underneath, one can faintly detect the slightly smokey autumn scent.
where has my summer gone? i was full of plans in may. i was going to visit my friend upstate. i blinked, and and now she's busy again. i was going to hang out with my friend who was living in new jersey. i turned around, and she's back home in Israel. i was going to make good use of that photography class i took...I'd better hurry, because the leaves are going to turn from green to red to brown. i wanted to volunteer more, to spend less time inside and more time outside. less time talking to people and more time talking to nature. less time sleeping, and more time watching sunrise...
i can't believe I'm getting so old. i can't believe I'm starting my third year out of high school. growing up is a wonderful thing. it's just scary how quick it's going. in the words of Calvin, "you gotta seize tomorrow and throttle it" call up that old friend who you've been meaning to chat with for ages. wear the shirt that you've been saving for a special occasion. skip work and spend the day with a good book. focus more on the important things; on people, on relationships, and less on material things. life is too short to be wasted. and no one knows how much time they have left.