human follies

"OK, now I'm going to get off my bandwagon"
(don't hurt yourself on the way down, dear)
join the bandwagon, get off your high horse

"biting at the chomp"
(I'm still looking for a chomp....can't find one)
chomping at the bit

"a feather in his bonnet"
(well that would look rather nice, wouldn't it)
feather in your cap, bee in your bonnet

"hey, if the truth fits, wear it!"
(now how's this for size?)
the truth hurts, if the shoe fits wear it

"if truth comes to shove
(she says she was kidding and said this one intentionally, but i have my doubts)
when push comes to shove, if truth be told

"you could have knocked me down with a fender"
(there are very few people i know who can't be knocked down with a fender)
you could have knocked me down with a feather

"you can talk to them till they're ill in the face"
-said by my cpr instructor, about obtaining consent to help a victim (obviously they're ill, that's why I'm trying to help them in the first place!)

"cutting off your nose despite your face"
cut of your nose to spite your face

"we can beat this till I'm dead in the face"
(this one is so messed up, it took me awhile to figure out what she was trying to say)
you can't beat a dead horse, talk till i'm blue in the face