Friday, September 19, 2008

fcg's wedding notes

1. always bring a spare pair of stockings. you never know when you'll kick yourself and get a hole
2. if the photographer, who's standing head and shoulders above the sweaty bodies on the dance floor, is sweating, it's probably very hot
3. don't dance with someone holding a tissue in their hand. they'll probably attempt to use it with your hand firmly clutched in theirs.
4. gowns that have skirts that are bunched in different places are really really pretty. but they always tear when someone steps on them.
5. if your dancing with or next to someone who has a skirt like that, and you're wearing pointy shoes, keep your toes planted firmly on the floor and you won't step on the gown.
6. it's impossible to prevent getting stepped on by stilettos. but maybe bulletproof stockings hold out a little better against puncture. (I'll have to try that one)
7. if you're going to drink, make sure someone else can take you home.
8. and make sure there are no potential mother-in-laws around
9. if the chosson's friends talk during the chuppah, chances are the dancing will be really good.
10. the weird unskinned chicken things with the rice in it always looks better than it tastes.
11. be careful about what you say when you're eating. you never know when a random married woman was accidentally placed on your table
12. the jump rope is a cute idea. but it looks really dumb in pictures, and it's hard to jump when you're holding six petticoats up and can barely see the floor.
13 if you spin the bride around and then carry her to the head table, she will greet her husband looking sweaty, dizzy, and terrified. how beautiful.


G6 said...

Thanks for the laugh!!
Oh and be aware that potential mothers-in-law have a third eye in back of their heads..... :)
Also, when they lift up those voluminous gown skirts, check out the pedicures. Some people have the toes done to match the gown purely for entertainment purposes... :D

rickismom said...

How funny!
My daughter wore sneakers for the dancing at her wedding. Made more sense. But she couldn't lift her petticotes!

The Babysitter said...

Most people wear sneakers for the dancing I hear.

I was by a wedding where when the kallah was brought to the men's side, the kallah's friends put up a sign on top of the mechitza that said "we want our Kallah back" I thought it was so cute.

sporadicintelligence said...

I don't like when people wear sneakers under their gowns. They don't stand with the same elgance and poise, and they end up dancing like they're at a chagiga instead of a wedding.

Also in the winter time, I like to dance next to the new arrivals, their hands are still cold from the outside and not sweated up.