the phone rings in my house. i ignore it. no one ever calls on my house phone for me. all the calls are for Sister2, a swarming, social butterfly.
"fcg! phone call!" my mom calls down the stairs.
someone calling for me at home can only mean one thing.
i hate doing this.
i make my way upstairs and gesture to my mother that she should tell the woman that I'm not home, I'm sick, I'm away, i moved, ANYTHING. she gently pushes me in the direction of the phone. i gingerly pick up the phone.
"hi I'm calling about a friend of yours..."
(i was hoping my mom had made a mistake and heard wrong when she answered the phone. she hadn't. i stifle a groan)
"how can i help you?"
"can you tell me about your friend?"
(generalize much? uh, she likes tea? she has red slippers? her favorite color is red? she had a gum collection on the wall? she likes her freckles and doesn't cover them up? she owns more black pleated skirts than anyone else i know?)
"umm...can you be a little more specific please?"
"tell me about her personality"
(another stifled groan. personality is a very wide category. i fill her in making sure to hit the correct buzzwords: bubbly, outgoing yet refined, upbeat, positive...)
then she goes ahead to ask me the nasty questions: is she close with her parents? does she fight with her siblings?
i bite my tongue in an effort to retort: "do you think i would tell you if there was something wrong? like sure, I'm going to tell you that this girl is really nasty and put raw eggs in my pillowcase, or that she's a closet eater?"
i hang up and i tell my friends yet again, to TAKE ME OFF THEIR RESUMES! i don't like giving shidduch information. i don't have single friends on mine; they should reciprocate.