my favorite dress is ruined. i was holding a cup of orange juice in my hand when someone banged into me and i got OJ ALL over the dress. so i sent it to the cleaners where the owner told me that he couldn't clean it with dry cleaning, so he sent it to his brother to have it cleaned. i don't know what his brother has that this guy doesn't have. maybe he has a wizened old woman in a back alley washing the clothing in a huge tub with a wooden paddle. however he did it, he got the stain out. so i got my dress back spotless...and about four inches too short. it's not the first time an article of clothing that belonged to me shrunk. it's just the first time I've been able to blame it on someone else. so i took it back and explained my predicament. and they told me to come back in a week. so today i went to pick it up. and it's still too short. i really should go in and demand to be
compensated for it. but I'm convinced that this Asian couple are really secret undercover ninjas and their cleaners is really a front for something more sinister (hence their inability to properly clean my dress) and if i go in with my complaints, the wife will yell "ha ya!" and they'll both pull knives out of their shirts and stab me, or do some weird karate move on me. i know, real racist. but i can't help it.

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