be careful or be roadkill

i ran over a squirrel today.

it darted out between the cars and into the street.

I've always been terrified that i would hit an animal, or come close to it, and freak out and close my eyes and swerve off the road.

i didn't even notice it until it was like right under my wheels. i didn't even have time to freak out, or close my eyes, or jam on the brakes, or swerve off the road. i didn't even feel it. i wasn't sure I'd actually hit it until i looked in my rear view mirror and saw it lying on the ground.

i couldn't even go back to see if it was really dead or just stunned becuase i was in a rush. i just had to keep driving, completely horrified with myself.

i can't believe i killed something. i feel so bad for that poor squirrel :(