Saturday, March 22, 2008

purim

i feel like writing about purim, even though everyone has like a million posts about it. so i did my usual people observing over purim (which of course was so much easier, because most ppl-guys usually-don't hide behind fakeness after they've had some alcohol) and i categorized ppl who get drunk.

1. the guy who loves everyone-pretty cute, esp. for teens who lack communication skills. they tell everyone, their parents, brothers, sisters, friends, rabbis-and usually anyone else nearby-that they love them, they're so glad they know them...

2. the spiritual guy-my dad's like this; he fixates on one song and sings it over and over again. this year it was 'ein od milvado' this kind will usually take about forty minutes to bentch, and insist they HAFTA go daven ma'ariv. they also usually shower everyone with brachot, tell their moms/wives they're eishet chayil, tell everyone what they have to fix, and go around convincing people that it's time for moshiach to come

3. they criers-most guys turn into this after they've had alot to drink. they apologize for harm they've done, for not being the best friend/brother/son they can be. they cry because they feel inadequate. they cry because they are so lucky to be jewish...

4. my least favorite type-they guys who get drunk and then embarrass themselves, their families, whoever they're talking to, and whoever they're talking about. they talk about things that are inappropriate, they say what they really feel, but always kept inside. they tell secrets about others that they never were supposed to tell.

5. and of course, the vomiters. but almost everyone turns into this type. you might be able to avoid it if you drink alot of water, which keeps you properly hydtr

17 comments:

The Babysitter said...

cool post, I haven't really come in contact with many drunk people. But that sounds right.

frumcollegegirl said...

well it depends on the community and the people around you. but i'm lucky enough that my family just gets very funny or holy when they're drunk

Moshe said...

I'm a 1 with some sprinkling of 2 and if I mix too much or drink tequila, 5 rears its ugly head.
Never 3 or 4 even when I got so drunk I had a memory blank.

Yoni said...

my little brother is the loving drunk.

He tells everyone how much he loves them and hugs them. When he got his wisdom teeth pulled they used (not barbituates) a benzodaizapine (basicaly solid alcohol) and we had too keep him far away from the lady who lives next door because we were afraid that he'd tell her that he loves her and run up and hug her or something.

He was doing it to everyone, even me.

which was a bit nice.

(oh, and he does the spiritual thing too, I mean, he's not at all religious, and often times is outright hostile, but when he gets drunk his pintele yid shows through and once he was comming home drunk with the rabbi's second son singling lecha dodi like a good jewish drunk.) :)

Child Ish Behavior said...

You forgot about the people that just pass out when they get a few in them. Not all of us can stay up with all that booze in us. We are the best kinds because we are yotzai all the shita of haman/ mordachai controversy. And we don't bother many people with our drunken banter.

The flip side is that when we are sober we act drunk.

Yoni said...

you're lucky that you haven't met the mean and combative drunks, or the "fresh" drunks, or anykind like that. (or g-d forbid the violent and abusive drunks.)

David_on_the_Lake said...

You so perfectly summed up the ways and means of drunkards.
Personally, I don't like being around any one of these..least of all a vomiter. But some drunks really are entertaining..

frumcollegegirl said...

they guys who pass out right away aren't considered a category of drunk. in my mind it's guys who can't tolerate any alcohol at all.

the opinion said...

drunkards vomit when they drink to much way to much.

Moshe said...

1. Learn spelling and grammar.
2. People throw up when they mix alcohol levels. Liver processes whichever toxin came last. When you go from high to low, the liver starts to process the low alcohol substance which makes the previous high alcohol substance more toxic.

frumcollegegirl said...

oh i thought you vomit because you dehydrate...

Moshe said...

dehydration's a part of it, but the main reason is the liver being overloaded with conflicting toxins.
The best way to get drunk is with a couple bottle of wine, preferably not mevushal. That way there's a low to none chance of vomiting and hangover.
The worst thing you can do is mix vodka/whiskey beer and wine and once you add tequila to the mix, you'll wish you're dead.

Yoni said...

actualy moshe hangover is produced by certain byproducts of the fermentation process.

ITs not true that mixing different toxins will protect you at all.

all alcohol is exactly the same once it enters the bloodstream and therefore the liver.

just tequila is so weird because it has all kinds of other stuff in it that messes you up.

(alcohol can cause blackouts and does cause hangovers on its own, but it is much less likely.)

Moshe said...

Dark and light alcoholic drinks are processed differently, not same. Also, beer and champagne can increase absorption rate.

Moshe said...

btw, I'm speaking from personal experience, not just theoretical.
mixing is bad, bad quality liquor like Gordon's vodka is bad. Sake or Wine are good.

Yoni said...

no moshe, they're processed exactly the same. it isn't two different kinds of alcohol, I promise you, I could do some chemical experiements to prove it to you if you like.

The problem is that the dark ones have all kinds of contaminants in them, which tends to mess you up. (vodka, for instance, is usualy just about pure alcohol and water, almost nothing else) Tequila is so contaminated that it will mess you up severely whether or not you have had anything else.

But I promise you, the ethonol in beer is the same as it is in tequila and it is the same as it is in vodka and scotch, its the same stuff. Its everything else that messes you up. (well the ethanol as well, but differently, it isn't responsible for some of the crazy behaviors.)

Swirl a bottle of scotch, you'll see a residue follow the drink. That residue is what is messing you up, and the residue is different in different drinks because of different processing practices. More of it causes more problems. Tequila has the most of it and the most different kinds.

and yes, the acids in beer and champaign will speed up absorption.

Moshe said...

the advice still valid, don't drink crap and don't mix.
as far as experiments, try experimenting on yourself ;-)