Tuesday, March 11, 2008

my rants on purim

I've always felt that purim was a guys' holiday

as a kid i enjoyed purim. i got to dress up, no school, lots of candy, and we got together with my cousin. but as i got older, it got harder. my costumes got limited. i remember the first year i had an issue. i was dressed up as a vampire, and my mom made me put on a skirt over my pants. i was probably in seventh grade, so i was twelve or thirteen. after that, somehow my costumes never were the same. i was never one to go for costumes like fairies, brides, or princesses. i had already done the old hag and gypsy, so i felt there wasn't much left. i have this theory that if your costume is an inanimate object, you're going to be pretty uncomfortable. when i was like six or so, i dressed up as a flower. all i remember is that i was covered with tissue paper and i rustled and tore every time i turned around. my cousin takes the award for the weirdest costumes. she's been a peeler, a garbage can, a pillow case, and a vase. so when i was going through my angst-ridden-teenager-stage i was a punk for three years. each year i varied the costume slightly, but it was pretty much the same.

besides for the costume department, women have to kind of stay in the background while the men can let loose. not that i want to ride through the streets hanging out of my friend's car, smashed, or puke all over my neighbor's lawn, i just feel like men view women as the ones who put together the mishloach manot, make the food, and then drive them around and clean up after them when they're drunk.

not that i don't like purim. it's fun. and once i learned about the special part of the day, it took on a whole new meaning for me. but there's still something that bothers me, year after year.


Yoni said...

you are deffinitely in the wrong community.

Here, the communal purim meal (held on sunday when purim falls on friday) is mixed seating, with a seperate dancing sections. (and the women's circle is always larger than the men's! (plus the girls are better dancers too!)

girls dress up, others dress up (the coke bottle costume is pretty comfortable), and I actualy remember one girl who was two years younger than me dressing up as an army girl when I was like 17, in pants, and since it was purim noone cared, not like we can see her across the machitza (althouhg pants aren't a tznius issue anyway) anyway, so even if it was it wouldn't be relevant!

(and the machitza devides two parallel sections in the big shul, women are NOT kept in back.)

you really are in the wrong community.

frumcollegegirl said...

i KNEW this would come out wrong.

our shul has a purim party with mixed seating and separate dancing too. and in my family the girls are encouraged to dress up, no matter what age. it's not that i don't like purim, it's just a global thing about purim being a men's holiday.

dunno, maybe i'm crazy. babysitter, what do you think?

Yoni said...

considering both it and chanukah were wraught by women?

It really aught to be a women's holiday. I mean, from a strict halachic standpoint, women can even lain megilla (although sadly these days most people protest, which is really wrong) even for men. (the oppinion in the shulchan aruch that they can't is only a yaish omrim.)

and I mean, purim seems much more inclusive than say, sukkos. (or even chanukah, although I am not aware of any crazy who says that a woman can't light chanukah menorah's (thank g-d! may we never know such insanity).

and I mean, in my house I usualy am the one making the shalach manot, because my school seems to have a penchant for schedualing the spring break on the week of purim, and anyway my mom's a workaholic so she usualy can't do it.


Anonymous said...

"once i learned about the special part of the day, it took on a whole new meaning for me."
Is there some secret nobody told me about?

Gila said...

Walla--come to Israel and check out Shira Hadasha or Yedidya in J'lem. Orthodox, but push the envelope as far as it can be pushed insofar as women are concerned--women also have fun on Purim.

As for the drunken bochurim--no pity here---let them sober up and then go clean up their own damn mess! You women can take a post Purim holiday at a spa...you know...to give the men time to get everything in order.


The Babysitter said...

I agree with you 100% I've been feeling the same way about Purim.

The guys get to go out at night having fun gong to peoples houses collecting money and stuff, while the girls can't really do that.

All the woman really do is think of themes for their shaluch manos and find costumes for their kids. Although that can be fun too, but a different type of fun.