Thursday, March 20, 2008


clowns freak me out.

i dunno why. there's just something about the white face, and that fake painted smile that makes me break out in cold sweat.

i never read the book IT by Stephen King, and my friend's husband told me NEVER to read it (he says that's what caused his fear of clowns)

i do remember reading some other book about a clown gone bad, something about a dying grandfather calling out dates before he died...if anyone can validate what I'm saying it would make me feel slightly saner. but i know that it wasn't what caused my fear of clowns because i remember that i was babysitting and i told myself that i wouldn't like the book b/c i didn't like clowns and it had clowns on the cover and a sticker on the spine that said HORROR.

why the heck did i read it?

my friend says i don't like clowns because i hate people who hide behind lies or fake smile. that is definatly true. i can't stand it when people tell me they don't mind going places with me, when all they want is to go home. i mean, just think about it:why would i want to take you if i know you don't want to be with me? it's like people who force themselves where they're not wanted. i never got that. i like to be around people who like me. i like to get the vibe that i'm liked.

but humanity is weird. maybe that's why some parts of it hide beneath the painted face of clowns.

whatever they're reasoning is, they still freak the heck out of me.


Rafi G said...

clowns don't bother me, but I did read IT. It was my first Stephen King book at age of about 14 and I was then forever hooked on Stephen King.

Yoni said...

... I'm not afraid of clowns but I can definitely sympathise with alot of what you wrote, disturbing really.

and yeah, the hiding behind fake smiles or someone saying they enjoyed something when they didn't... it really got to me.

although I think I remember being afraid of clowns when I was younger. (as well as chip and dale... odd that.)

David_on_the_Lake said...

Clowns have always freaked me out..
I'll never forget..when I first moved to my new neighborhood, one shabbos morning I was walking to shul at around 8:00 and it was very very foggy..
and suddenly I see my neighbors front door open and 2 clowns walk the mist..
I seriously thought I was losin my mind...
I was bracing myself for a giraffe or two...
They get into their car and drive off...
Only later did I find out that thats what they did for living.

Theres a famous scene in the Opera Il Pagliacci..where this clown is looking in the mirror at his wretched self and how pathetic his life really is..

ok enough rambling..

The Babysitter said...

good luck with purim, hope there won't be too many clowns around for your sake.

I agree with you about the whole fake smile concept. Actually something strange I noticed is whenever I see someone who's fake talk to another person I can automatically sense the fakeness. But yet when they talk to me, its harder to distinguish if their being fake or not.

But yea, I remember reading certain horror stories where they depicted innocent kinds of people as being villans, and ever since then it gives a strange feeling when I think of these innocent things. I can't think of a good example. But lets say with doctors, their a lot of times shown as villains, like the mad doctor, but yet their supposed to be helpful...

the pissed off teen said...

u and kramer from seinfeld!

another frum college girl said...

i used to have this red white and blue striped rubber ball when i was a kid. once i had a dream that my older brother took it; all of a sudden the stripes were face paint and he used it on his face (and became a clown) and chased me around the house!

anyway if you had to have any phobia, i think this is a pretty good one considering it doesnt come up very often!